just thinkin today, and remembered what dan wrote in his blog once. definitely worth posting. dan i owe you an email for sure.
"Never settle for the commonly accepted "right doctrine", but search in your own copy of God's word for what is truth. Don't make the bible fit your decisions, but make your decisions fit the bible. Don't become so bogged down with the doctrine that you forget the heart. ... Do not worry about yesterday, because what is done is done, and cannot be changed. Do not fret what the future might bring, for that is unseen to your eyes. But take today, deny yourself, pick up your cross and carry it!"
the theme lately has been reversing the damage done in past years. just this past, oh, six months, God has been slowly but steadliy working on me, revealing all this legalism and yes, even liberality (you'll have to take my word for it) that i'd been steeped in for years and years, mostly theologically but also politically and in other areas also. there is something very wrong with one's "faith" when one could go on for hours about the takes and stands of various theologians, but can't even recite the 10 commandments in order, or something like that you know??? and that's where i was. God has been VERY faithful, repairing me, changing my mind, and showing me HIMSELF - grace, mercy and truth embodied. He's done that through ... the amazing way He does things, unseen to our eyes, through JEFFREY (a HUGE one!!!), and through circumstances ... praise Him for that! and for a ZILLION other things!
Jeffrey you're my sunshine ... and my ummmm ... lunar object shine LOL ... and starshine ... and TREESHINE!!! :P
we are goofs. i'm the biggest one.
*
PS - WOW! There is this really awesome band called Epic Hero (Christian, but not overtly in their music, still it's good stuff) that came to USD in Vermillion in early September, the first week I was in school actually. They played in the courtyard of the CSC. The turnout wasn't great, but the music was wonderful and I practically went back to the dorm with my ears bleeding, lol. I had a headache for DAYS. My fault for standing too close. And btw, going to concerts alone REALLY stinks. :P ANYWAY, I listen to music on http://music.netscape.com" title="http://music.netscape.com" target="_blank"http://music.netscape.com a lot, and I happened to be looking under the E's today, and THERE THEY ARE - EPIC HERO! Check out their song "End of the Line". They're really good! I lost their CD, but I still have their sticker on my CPU tower or whatever, lol.
Sidewalk sales, BBQs, and visits to the city pool are great, but that's not what Memorial Day is about. I hope we all, myself included, can remember that.
Hey yall! Jeffrey's mom started a tribute page for him - how cool is that?! He DESERVES it! Here is the link ... you can go leave a message for him! And if you have no idea who he is, TRUST ME, he's a WONDERFUL man, soldier, "other half", and a zillion other things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's insanity to expect everyone to do things the same way you did them. it's even more insane to pick out the parts of your situation that you liked, idealize the parts you didn't like, and also expect others to follow this plan exactly. say, you got married when you were 19 after dating for 2.5 years and never finished college. expecting your kids to wait until they're older than 19, through with college and have dated for 2.5 or more years to get married is insane.
I'M TIRED OF COOKIE CUTTERS.
yes, i will finish my college education. yes, it is important.
i'm so tired though of society and it's sterotypes, and my parents, and the whole thing how EVERYONE supposedly should put career first, finish college and save up TEN TRILLION DOLLARS before they're married, etc etc etc.
life may or may not work out that way, folks. just because it does or doesn't doesn't make it any less good or valid or ...
i need to be more patient with people.
and some people, such as my parents, need to stop putting God in a box.
everyone please keep Jeffrey and his guys in your prayers, today and all the time. i'd appreciate it. let me know if there is anything i can pray for for you!!!
Well, earlier today I left notes for Jan, Jer, and John to update their blogs, so it wouldn't be very fair if I didn't update mine! LOL. I'm not very good at leaving substantive enties, am I? :P
I just got done reading some in Luke, "Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman", "The Parable of the Sower", "A Lamp on a Stand", "Jesus' Mother and Brothers", and "Jesus Calms the Storm". The story about Jesus calming the storm hit me most strongly. How often are there storms in my life ... and I tremble and don't trust God and flail about ... when all the while God is right there, always with me, the Holy Spirit IN ME even. I need more faith!!
Then I turned on the made-for-TV movie Hercules. I had been wanting to watch it since it has to do with Greek mythology, not that I'm a fan of it, but I'm big into Greek/Roman culture you know. Anyway, the first scene in the movie there were many men on a boat out in a fierce storm, and the leader of the men was screaming at Zeus, basically saying, "What in the world have I done to offend you?!!?!? Stop!!!!" And there was thunder and lightening and huge waves.
This immediately made me think of a phrase Jeffrey had used once - "Lightening Bolt Zeus". That's how he phrased my view of God one time, and it was SO appropriate, because that's really how I used to view God. I think I'm just now beginning to see Him for the JUST, yet MERCIFUL, LOVING God He really is. I used to think if I messed up once that everything I loved would be taken away from me, that God was always angry with me. God has really, in these past 5 months or so, shown me how wonderfully merciful and forgiving He is, though I still have so much to learn!!! A LOT of this He has been good enough to show me through Jeffrey. It's been a wonderful blessing!!!
But anyway, just seeing that scene made me really grateful that the ONE, TRUE GOD, OUR GOD ... we can cry out to Him and He will ALWAYS help!! Like that Scott Krypane song says, "Sometimes He calms the storm, other times He calms the child." But He WILL do something!!
It also struck me how Jesus REBUKED the storm, but in the movie "Zeus", all he did was fuel the storm and let out his wrath and rage.
It also struck me (LOL i think i'll use that phrase a ZILLION times! :P) ... it just ... i think it's SO ironic that you know a lot of fabels in other culture, etc mimic the TRUE story of the Bible. Like in this movie, the storm, and they ended up throwing a man over, like Jonah. And that's just one meager example. Many cultures also have some story of a great flood too, much like the story of Noah's flood. Secular scholars say this shows that there really was a flood, but not Noah's (according to them, of course) or just the commonalities of folklore or something like that, but really in Romans it says men are without excuse to recognize HIS glory and i know that in the end God WILL be glorified ... and i just think that similar stories that aren't the truth but are similar to it are just like, little reflections of God being glorified, even through the bad you know??? But I could be wrong on that! I just know He WILL be glorified in the end!!!
So anyway that was neat how that all came together, LOL.
I didn't get anything done today really cuz I was sick. :( Jeffrey made me happier, though! He always takes care of me!!! :D
Tomorrow I have an interview with Bath and Body Works. I was really hoping the 5 - 10 hours they could supposedly offer me a week could be spent on the weekends, while I worked week days doin media/public relations for the Christian bookstore, but things are still up in the air with them. I'm going to call back tomorrow and see if any progress has been made. *crosses fingers* God's Will will be done though, and whatever it is it will be the best! I've wished for a lot of things, but in the end there are so many prayers I'm so glad weren't answered how I wanted them to be answered. God really does know best, and by His grace I have to remember that! I also have an interview with Barnes & Nobel at Crossroads on Wednesday morning ... again, would be AWESOME and they're hiring seasonal help, but again, only PT hours. I can see me either takin 2 - 3 PT jobs or a FT and PT or ... whatever works out I guess! I hope stuff comes together soon! I also have some magazine possibilities too, and I haven't been spending babysitting money, or any money, really ... gotta save!!!
Well I need to get some stuff done tonight. This move isn't all that great. They had that guy who played ... Sam, was it?? from LOTR ... Frodo's slightly pudgy, very humble friend ... I guess I see that actor now as that character, LOL, and I really liked that character ... anyway that actor was in the movie but he got killed off after only like, a 3 minute appearance. You'd think he come back to life - why would he just have a bit part? But who knows. I'm not waiting around. I've barely eaten today ...
*First Cov. Church in Omaha offered a Wednesday night C.S. LEWIS CLASS!!! that, of course, just ended last night. way to go. :( how cool would that have been?!
*I'm supposed to send clips into the Juv. Diabetes Research Foundation so they can maybe use me for their children's magazine or website. No, I'm not into journalism anymore, but I do love writing, and occasional mag/website writing is a whole diff ballpark from "hardcore" "news writing". Yes I am finicky. But hey, it could be extra "pocket change."
*I just got a wedding invite from the other receptionist from the salon. Hooray for weddings!! It's addressed "To Erin Oliver & Guest". awwwwwww!! How cute!!! I wish my "guest" could come but he's a little busy doing some VERY IMPORTANT work about 5,000 miles away. :P I LOVE YOU JEFFREY!!! I'll just go to the wedding and skip the reception. :)
re - again ... cep from cepio, -ire, to catch ... to catch again ... get it?? hehe.
*I have an interview with Bath & Body Works at One Pacific Place/Regency on Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. I think they're just hiring for 5 - 10 hours a week, but hopefully by then I'll have another job and maybe I can work this one around a main job. Lord knows I need to save up the money! It smells WAY good in there, and it's close to WHS. hehe. Plus it would be fun working in a ritzy area of town - FOR 5 - 10 HOURS A WEEK MAX. haha. Note the MAX. :P
*I'm reading Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado and it is AWESOME. I am almost half way done with it - farther than I've gotten on any book that wasn't required for class reading (well, counting required class reading too I think LOL!!)
*I got an A in my sr/grad level Modern Religion and Conflict class. HOORAY!!! That class was painfully long but the subject matter rocked, when the discussions didn't veere painfully off-course.
*Other than that, I got a B in my sr/grad level Ren & Ref Euope. :( It was like SO CLOSE to an A! Like 2 grade points! Same situation with Creative Writing. Bummer, man! I SOMEHOW pulled a C in Logic, and am MORE THAN satisifed with that, considering the fact that NO ONE in that class has ANY idea what we studied, or "studied", though we tried, LOL! I got a B in Desktop Publishing - which I am WAY upset about. I called the teacher but I'm sure she won't get back to me. She never does. I did SO GOOD in that class and my poster even got used for a speaker in Sioux Falls - what up with that, man?! There must have been an error but I'm sure it won't get corrected.
*Pikes Peak is behaving a little better - you just have to argue with them CONSTANTLY, lol. Gosh. It's like potty training a puppy, I swear!
today after 5:30 pm, two argus stories and porfolios later, i will leave to go back to omaha ...
it's great that it's now done and over with. i know this isn't where i'm supposed to be next year or any other year for that matter ...
i know where my home is. my REAL home. and where my heart is. ;)
however this is definitely where i was supposed to be this year, and it was SUCH a growing year. for that reason, a lot of things/places here that i'm not particularly crazy about have very fond memories attached, and that makes it a little hard to leave.
the hardest thing about leaving is definitely going to be saying goodbye to lizzie and jer. i don't even want to think about it, but i will have to in about 4 hours or so. living with lizzie and having jer over a lot has been the best experience. you two - if you're reading this - i'm so glad i got to know yall like i did and we totally HAVE to keep in touch ... yall have been such wonderful friends ...
ok ... can't think about that right now don't wanna get choked up ...
other things i will miss about Verm town:
1) the V staff has been amazingly supportive through this transition
2) my "senic route" ... the loop of main street that meets up with SD 50 that goes by the winery and the hills and is AMAZING ...
3) hillside church - the scenery AND the church
there may be a few other things ...
i know these past 48 hours have been crazy, but they've been a great way to end my time at USD. the 3 hour study group the other night was one of the best times i've had in college, last night's final was tough but good and it was funny how ... you know you go to college in a small town where, when the test lets out after 10 pm at night you run into like 5 or 6 ppl from your class at various shops and on the street and such afterwards lol.
and last night's LOST CAR CAPER. holy cow ... thanks for finding it jer! i wish it wouldn't just drive off like that - that thing tends to have a mind of its own. LOL!!!! :P
i'm so glad fridge called shotgun. gotta keep my cubes safe. LOL!!!
and hey, after all your help yesterday ... carrying fridgey and findin my "prodigal" car ... vess has changed her mind.
she DOES like you. :P
well, i'm going to take another small nap before i gotta get goin for this day ...
but whatever this summer brings ...
it's just a bridge to the fall.
fall, Lord willing, means being physically with the person i love most on this earth ... and startin our lives together to an even GREATER extent! :D
Today was an exciting day for my Jeffrey! 2,000 visitors to his blog (and a slightly altered color scheme) and a new goal! I am SO PROUD OF HIM and can't wait to have him in my arms!
Jeffrey I want only God's BEST for you. ;)
well i have to go work on finals week stuff ... but here are some lyrics from what is one of my fav songs right now for some reason ...
"Jilted groom" John Mason on his "runaway bride" Jennifer Wilbanks, who recently faked her own abduction after getting cold feet just days before the wedding:
“Haven’t we all made mistakes? Just because we haven’t walked down the aisle, just because we haven’t stood in front of 500 people and said our ‘I do’s,’ my commitment before God to her was the day I bought that ring and put it on her finger, and I’m not backing down from that,” John Mason said Monday in an interview with Fox News.
how precious is that?
that reminded me of anther story a couple years back i had copied and pasted to an old online diary:
Groom Loses All Memory of Marriage
May 23rd, 2002
AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - The bride wasn't left waiting at the altar -- she was left waiting at the airline terminal.
Honeymoon plans for a Texas couple came to an abrupt end when the groom suffered a case of amnesia, went missing and lost all memory of being married, police said on Wednesday.
Sean McNulty, 30, was found outside an abandoned hotel near Houston airport three days after he was to leave on a honeymoon to Italy, and five days after he tied the knot.
McNulty told police he could not remember his name or where he had been. And he had no idea of the woman he saw in a picture when Houston police showed him a photograph of his bride of less than a week, police said.
Doctors who treated the groom said he suffered from amnesia after receiving a bump to the head. They do not know how he received the injury, they said.
Police said McNulty went missing after he left his wife at the airport terminal.
"He returned to the airport parking lot after telling his wife he forgot his wallet, and then he went missing," a Houston police spokesman said.
McNulty was transferred to a hospital in the newlyweds' home of Austin on Tuesday, police said, where his new bride is trying to revive memories of his life and helping him to remember the names of his new in-laws, they said.
JEFFREY: I LOVE YOU "THIS MUCH" (the jimmy wayne song!!) through any and everything that happens! :D
In the past 24 HOURS ALONE ... Mr. Jeffrey and I have spoken (just online, not counting our phone call) ...
*drum rolls* ...
17,089 WORDS!!!
i just did a word count on the yahoo message archive - and that's not counting anything before 4 PM yesterday! that is, however, counting the time stamps and screen name on each line, but still ...
WHAT A BLESSING!!!
i bet 17,000 of those were my words and the 89 was jeffrey - HAHA JUST KIDDING BABE! :P i do talk WAYYYYYYYYYY too much though! :P
there's nothin so sweet as talkin to the one you love. :)
Gosh, I just wrote this HUGE blog entry and it's GONE.
Grrrrrrr!
Let me summarize:
1) church rocked. i'll miss it.
2) i got to talk to jeffrey SO MUCH today! it's been a HUGE blessing! that "kid" can paste a smile on me like none other!!! ;D
3) JEFFREY JUST CALLED!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! :D
4) finals are no fun, but i'm gonna try to make the most of this pre-Ames time while i can LOL.
5) there is a great argument for the existance of a Proto-Indo-European language simply using one of a number of words, including "wolf". More on this later.
