this entry is dedicated to Liz Gebhart, lol. Liz i'm going to miss you so much!!!! i know i haven't always been the best or easiest to deal with roomie, but you sure have been - AND a great friend! i had SUCH a blast with you in the Twin Cities and in Omaha and just hangin around Vermillion ... our late night chats and watchin N.D. (or watchin Jer laugh at N.D. lol) and pretzel dogs in TC! (well, most memories associated with that LOL) and shopping and going downtown to that bookstore that's GONNA BURN DOWN in Omaha and watchin The Notebook and The Terminal ... and gosh, we should have taken those pillows from the hotel room! LOL! and i should have packed PJs so i didn't have to sleep in my clothes! :P
Liz has been there when i'm happy and rambling for the longest time and also when i've been bummed out. she was the first one i told that Jeffrey and i were gettin married, and the first one to give me a hug after that! hehe.
Liz is a SUPER listener. maybe sometimes she thinks she's just good at a lot of things but not great at ONE thing, but the fact is she's great at a TON of things and just doesn't see it.
like i tell her, years from now tons of couples across the country will be saying, "Liz Gebhart saved my marriage AND designed the invitations to our rededication ceremony!" LOL! it's true! Liz you could be a counselor or a writer or a cake decorator or a wedding planner or a graphic designer or any one of a HUGE number of things! and some day we'll ALL be buying Gebhart Greeting Cards ... and stock ... as we abandon our Hallmark stock for Lizzie stock! lol!
Liz you have been the best and i hope we keep in touch forever!!!! i'm going to miss you so much!!! Jer I'm going to miss you too - I will never look at Banquet Sweedish Meatballs and Unsolved Mysteries the same again!!! you two make a WONDERFUL couple and it's been fun and inspiring watching you two grow and i know yall are and will continue to be good partners for each other!!!!
this morning, and well, last night, and well, pretty much every day LOL Liz knows i've been havin arguments/troubles with my parents ... this morning she sent me an encouraging email and some WONDERFUL quotes that really apply to me and Jeffrey! THANK YOU LIZ! Someday you could write a quote book of your own too! that's what you should add to your eportfolio - quotes!!! But anyway Liz they're perfect, and Jeffrey loves quotes too! I am totally going to put these on hearts in my lonely little basment in Ames, LOL!
THESE ARE SOOOOOOOO ME AND JEFFREY!!!
"Distance is to love like wind is to a flame. If the flame is small, the wind will blow it out. If it is large enough, the wind will serve only to fuel it and make it stronger."
"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."
"If you asked me what was more important, you or my life, I'd say my life, and you'd walk away not knowing you are my life."
"Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be."
"You're so precious to me, I don't even think you realize how much. It's like that blanket or teddy bear everyone has when they're little--never able to be parted with, always the most important thing, and loved more than anything else in the world. That's what you are to me, and you always will be...forever."
"Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough."
"I wanted to give you a kiss, but I couldn't. I wanted to give you a hug, but I couldn't. I at least wanted to hold your hand, but I couldn't do that either, because you are so far away. So I gave you the one thing I could. My heart."
"The worst thing you can do for love is to deny it. So when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything stand in your way."
"You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. And, my darling, you will always be mine." - Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook"
it's really crazy to think about how things are wrapping up here! i just finished my last class ever at USD, and just filed my last article ever for the Volante! there is a lot left to do, actually, like ...
finish editing and revising my creative writing portfoilio and turn that in tonight online
write two Argus articles next week
retake a logic test, redo a few logic quizzes (LOL), and do two logic projects (yuck!)
redo my desktop publishing resume and get my portfoilio together
do two Ideas in History essays and possibly revise a few commentaries
study for my Modern Religion and Conflict final (at least we can use notes! i just have to prepare them now)
do my Renassiance and Reformation Europe take home final that is due Monday
get cover letters, clips and resumes out to several magazines i may be interested in writing for
make sure everything is going alright with Colorado Springs
so i certainly won't be bored, and i certainly will take my jeffrey breaks when and wherever i can get them, LOL, cuz i'll need them! i think liz and jer and i might watch N.D. this weekend too - i think that'd be a great way to end the semester.
i have nothing, technically, again until my only set final on Thursday from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m., though I do have two meetings in the late afternoon and possibly two evening study groups for MRC i might go to. so at least i have a LOT of time - i just have to use it very wisely!
a week from today at noon i check out and leave for Omaha ... i'll stay friday night and move in the next day or sunday ... either way ... that's so crazy. i am NOT ready for Ames in the least bit. i was seeing the whole thing like a pool, and i was going to wade in ... but instead here i go, plunging head first. there are a few good things about it though ... i can take all the time off i need when jeffrey comes back, it's steady income (even tho i have to pay my own bills), and i can get it done right away so i shouldn't be done too long after jeffrey is back in the grand 'ol U.S.A.! :D i can't wait for this fall ... i am still SOOOOOO crossing my fingers!!! and praying! and trying to make it work! i think it will.
it's crazy to think about where i was and what i was doing a year ago about now ... wrappin things up at WHS ... excited about the scholarship and journalism ... doin the prom fashion show ... gettin ready for graduation ... goin to grad parties ... startin my internship at Omaha Publications and workin at the salon and havin my own grad party and all kinds of things ... it was great then, it really was ... but God is showin me that it all was just a "means for a time" ... "for such a time as this" ...
and i could have NEVER pictured being where i am now just a year ago -
and you know what?
i am SO excited -
and I THANK GOD FOR IT!
I LOVE YOU JEFFREY AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE PHYSICALLY!!! in COS this fall, Lord willing, but if not then (which i'm crossin my fingers and prayin and thinkin it will work and hopin!), then very VERY soon ...
PS - Dan THANKS for the comments! it was so good to hear from you!!! I miss you and Shells!!! i hope i can see yall again soon!!!
and Dianna THANKS for the quotes! you're right - Lewis DOES rock, and i'm going to post the quotes here ... for everyone ... cuz they're so great ... but Dan i remember how big of a Lewis fan you are too! i love that Lewis book you and your family got me for graduation!
"By ceasing for a moment to consider my own wants, I have begun to learn better what I really wanted."
"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
someone likes to deface the quotes Lizzie and i put on construction paper hearts on our door. at least one that was up at the beginning of the semester is gone, and i'm afraid i'm going to have to throw away the best C.S. Lewis quote heart from the door cuz someone keeps ripping at it. but, alas, before i do i'll post it here:
"God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could learn in no other way ..."
- C.S. Lewis
(did anyone know that stands for Clive Staples? interesting huh?)
"I am certain that I please God, not by the merit of my works, but by reason of His merciful favor promised to me. So that, if I work too little or badly, He does not impute it to me, but, like a father, pardons me and makes me better. This is the gloryfing which all the saints have IN THEIR GOD!"
Congrats AGAIN, Lizzie and Jer! Gosh, senior staff! Way to go! Jer you do such a great job with the sports section and Lizzie if the Volante wins ANY awards next year I'm sure it'll be because of your design. You're gonna give it flair!
The Human Life Alliance put a paid the insert in this week's Volante, and I'm so glad they did. It's very nice, and it must have cost them a pretty penny. I'm sure people on campus are outraged. Oh well ...
Just a few quotes/facts from the insert ... if this doesn't shock you/bring tears to your eyes/evoke SOME kind of reaction, I'm not sure what will ...
After the PRIMARY issue that so many precious lives are lost to abortion ... I can't imagine the pain, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, someone goes through during and after an abortion. Please don't anyone think I hate people who've had abortions or anything like that. It seems that Christians get shoved in so many boxes these days - just because we're against homosexuality doesn't mean we're "homophobic". Just because we're against abortion doesn't mean we hate those who've had abortions. Hate the sin and love the sinner, and boy do *I* have a lot of sin in my life.
+ From an interview with Carol Everett, former director of four abortion clincs on how aborted babies were disposed of: "In our clinics we used a heavy duty garbage disposal."
+ From an interview with Carol Everett, former director of four abortion clincs on complications she witnessed: "In the last 18 months I was in the business, we were completing over 500 abortions monthly and killing or maiming one woman out of 500. Common complications influde perforations or tears in the uterus. Many of those result in hysterectomies. The doctor might cut or harm the urinary tract, which then requires surgical repair. A complication that is rarely publicized is one in which the doctor perforates the uterus and pulls the bowels through the vagina, resulting in a colostomy. Some of them can be reversed, others must live with the colostomy for the remainder of their lives."
"Common Abortion Methods:
Suction Aspiration: The abortionist inserts a hollow plastic suction tube into the dilated cervix. The uterus is emptied by a high-powered suction machine. The baby's body is turn as he/she is being pulled through the hose.
Dilatation and Evacuation: Used after 12 weeks. Once the cerevix is dialetd considerably further than in the firt trimester abortions, the abortionist inserts a narrow forceps that resembles a pliers. This instrument is needed because the baby's bones are calcified, as is the skull. The abortionist inserts the instrument into the uterus, seizes a leg or other part of the body and, with a twisting motion, tears it from the baby's body. The spine is snapped and the skull crushed. Body parts are then reassmebled and counted to make certain that the entire baby has been removed and that no parts remain in the womb.
Partial-Birth Abortion: After three days of preparations, the abortionist places an ultrasound transducer on the mother's abdomen and locates the child's legs and feet. The abortionist then uses a large forceps to grasp one of the baby's lefs. He pulls firmly, forcing the child into a feet-down position. Using his hands intead of forceps, the abortionist devliers the baby's body in a manner similar to a breech birth. The baby's head remains inside the birth canal. The last step involved using surgical scissors to pierce the child's head at the base of the skull. The abortionist forces the scissors open to enlarge the skull. The abortionist forces the scissors open to enlarge the skull opening. He/she then inserts a suction catheter into the brain and vacuums out the child's brain tissue with a machine 28 times more poqerful than a household vacuum.
RU486 - Mifeprex: Mifeprex blocks the action of the hormon progesterone, which is needed to maintain the lining of the uterus providing oxygen and nutrients for the embryo. WIthout it, the baby dies. Mifeprex is used in conjunction with the drug Cytotec (misoprostol) which is taken two days after Mifeprex, causing uterine bleeding (Soemtimes profuse), strong contractions, and expulsion of the babe. The pregnant woman first visits the abortionist to obtain three Mifeprex pills, returns two days later to receive misoprostol, and a third time to verify that the abortion is complete. The failture rate of this method is about 8% if the pills are taken within 7 weeks and up to 25% at 8 - 9 weeks. If the baby survives the abortion, the re is an extremely high risk that he or she wil suffer mental and/or physical birth defects from the Cytotec."
Wellps, it's about bed time for me, but I couldn't go to bed without posting a few things!
First of all JEFFREY got me a BEAUTIFUL little garden!!!!! Check out my flickr @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/thejournalist" title="http://www.flickr.com/photos/thejournalist" target="_blank"http://www.flickr.com/photos/...! ISN'T IT AWESOME!?!!?!? I <3 it sooooooooo much, for many many many reasons! Numero uno, it's from JEFFREY!!!!! And all flowers remind me of Jeffrey, but especially the ones he gets me. I have a HUUUUUGEEEE bag of petals from the first flowers he ever sent me (three yellow roses!!!!!!! :D) and the BEAUTIFUL roses from Valentines ... and now these! I am SOOOOO spoiled! And everything from him always has soooooo much meaning. It's just, wow. I so don't deserve any of this, no less HIM!!! It's not about the flowers in the least bit ... I love Jeffrey SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much just for bein him. Period!!!!! Exclamation mark!!!!! He never had to send me any flowers, and he never ever has to send me anymore ... I would still know JUST AS MUCH that he loves me soooooooooooooo much! I never ever forget! But he does spoil me and while it is very unnecessary, it is very sweet! I'm so excited that I get to water these and watch them grow and they're bulbs! And when I water them I loooooove the wet dirt smell it smells like it just rained or thunderstormed!!!!!! And there is a PINWHEEL! And they're in a cute BASKET! And there is an ADORABLE plaid bow that I just might put in my hair sometime ... and then put back on the basket ... cuz I am soooooooo "5th grade" like that, LOL. ;P But I have a garden now! And that makes me smile! BUT JEFFREY MAKES ME SMILE. Jeffrey *IS* my flower!!! This garden goes with my "grown up" things I've gotten since meeting Jeffrey ... a garden, two vases, a recipie card from Terri and two cookie cutters I bought to make cookies for Jeffrey. Those are my "grown up" things, LOL!
The little instruction sheet that came with my garden was written so cutely, LOL. Yeah, "cutely"! :P I guess I'm just used to more technical writing coming with this kind of stuff, or that's what I would imagine, but everything is phrased so delicately ... I guess that would only crack ME up since I disect words and writing and such all the time ... but it says stuff like ..."As a result of this humidity, you will sometimes encounter some "fuzz" on the soil and in the bulb pots. This fungus is compoletely innocent and will disappear after the pots are unpacked and watered well." LOL. Fuzz!!! Cute!!! :p "Although the sprouts may look very small upon arrival, they will grow very fast when kept at room temperature and watered regularly!" "Please note, as in nature, your flowers will bloom at different intervals." I guess I just got such a kick out of how they worded stuff and put so many !!! marks in, LOL. They could have just said, "Hey, there may be some fungus and not everything will sprout at the same time but no worries." but they made it sound cute, LOL! Anyway mine looked GREAT when I got it and within 15 mins of watering it and puttin it by the sunlight it looked PERFECT and it was already leanin toward the sunlight! It was ready to GROW, hahahahahaha ready to go, grow ... ok ... lol ...
You know, the native americans used to like use every part of the buffalo when they killed it ... LOL ... and that like kind of reminds me of me and Jeffrey's presents LOL ... like he had to BEG me to take down the dead flowers, but even then of course I HAVE to keep the petals cuz each one is a reminder of Jeffrey! And then the boxes from the flowers are still in my trunk, along with the tubes and wrapping ... I still have all the bows ... and vases ... and tomorrow I have to put this new box and the packing peanuts in my trunk! Ok, so I didn't save all the packing peanuts ... yeah, I tried to be realistic. But I saved many! haha ... Jeffrey did you know I save your boxes? :P
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo not looking forward to my 10 week internship all alone in Ames this summer! But on the positive side, I'm soooo hoping I can learn to cook well and sew and crochet or something like that this summer, and clean better lol, so I can be SUCH a good wife for Jeffrey! I know he would say being a good wife has nothing to do with all that, and I know, but I still want to you know??! And if I catch on to this whoel crochet thing, he will have enough sweaters by the time the 10 weeks is up to get him through an Artic winter, I'm sure. LOL!!!!
But what I'm lookin forward to MORE than that is *crosses fingers* hopefully everything will continue to work out for goin to school in Colorado Springs for the Fall! That would be WONDERFUL! So far the cards are falling into place, if you wanna phrase it like that ... His Will will be done, but so far so good! I sure hope so!
Well, Liz and I agree it's gettin hot in this mug! So I'm gonna go put on somethin much cooler and hit the sack soon ...
anyone read "The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind: The Definitive Guide for Girls as only told by Relient K"? i haven't but it sounds hilarious!! who are these guys to write a book about girls FOR girls though? lol. ok just saw an ad for it and it made me laugh ...
I got this pamphlet the other day in the mail from this group called Empowerment Press based out of CO Springs of all places, LOL!! The envelope said "Announcing the Megashift - the most sweeping global changes in 2,000 years." The thing basically goes on to say all world religions are dying, Christianity is sweeping all corners of the globe and the dead are being raised to life. hehe. Now I wish all that was happening but it's um, not. Not like that at least, LOL. But here are some quotes from the book, visa vi the pamphlet ...
"The revolution now upon us is a complete paradigm shift, taking us back to the time of Christ. It is going to be a lot bigger than the Reformation. Even bigger than Wal-Mart."
Ok yeah the rest of the quotes are just WEIRD, but that one was funny! LOL! Poor, misguided people ...
~~~~~
And, for your classic pleasure ...
Batman (Jeffrey!) and Spiderman (Erin!) Latin quotes! :P
I have one desire - to bring Glory to Your Name ...
To my Audience of One
Your are Father, and you are Son
As Your Spirit flows free
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise You ...
And now just to know You more
Has become my great reward
To see Your Kingdom come
And Your Will be done
I only desire to be Yours, Lord ..."
~Audience of One, Big Daddy Weave
it's so easy to forget He is THE REASON. it's so easy to forget it's all about HIM and HIS GLORY, not about us. it's so easy to forget He has HIS best and our best in mind. He created us so that His best really truly is our best. praise Him!
Wellps, its a little after noon on Saturday. It kind of feels like an "off" day. It's my first weekend back in Vermillion since well, the first weekend in March when I went to the Twin Cities. So I haven't been in Verm for a weekend since February, which is crazy! Lookin back on the Twin Cities, I wasn't lookin forward to it but it was actually really good times. Lizzie and I had a blast. It was tough not gettin to talk to Jeffrey much, but we got to talk more a couple of days than some days when I have access to a computer. Not many days, but some days. Besides, I love ALL of our conversations, but they were just super special, super fun conversations.
Anyway, Jer and Lizzie are gone until tomorrow, so I'm allllllllllll alooooone. lol. I can't wait to talk to Jeffrey again. I miss him *SO* much. Just wish he could be here, but there's a time for everything, I know. Tomorrow is church. Donita and I might get together just to talk. I'll probably work out either today or tomorrow, or both. We'll see. I did last night.
It feels REALLY weird to pretty much be on countdown from this place. Nothing is set in stone, but I can't see it going any other way, frankly. I suppose there's always a possibility, but I seriously doubt it. I'll be down in Lincoln on Wednesday, and I'm workin on paperwork for Pikes Peak in CO. We'll see what happens and what His will is. I think everyone can probably guess which way I'd prefer, LOL, but I know whatever happens and however hard times get, God will get Jeffrey and I through! Confidence = "with faith." It's a good thing to remember.
Thanks for the comments lately, you guys! I'm used to not getting any, hehe. Lizzie you have been an INCREDIBLE roomie and I am going to miss you SO much!! Like you said, you and Jer and going to have to come visit me, wherever I end up, and I'll for sure come back to see yall. And you and Jer and me and Jeffrey still need to get that double date in sometime!! The four of us together ... no less Jer and Jeffrey ... haha ... it'll be good times. I'm sure we'll come up with some pretty crazy stuff! :P
Oh and thanks for the comment, Dianna! Good to meet ya! :)
So I'm sittin here, listenin to "Chariot" by Gavin DeGraw cuz I'm addicted to that song for some odd reason. I got groceries yesterday, which was a bad idea. When I have lots of food in the closet I eat a lot more, and when I don't have much I get by just fine with not eating much. It's pretty crazy. I should keep that in mind and make smaller trips to the store ... so I don't binge. LOL. I don't binge. But today I have had like an applesauce cup, a fruit snacks package, a can of spaghetti Os and two granola bars. Um, otay. That is quite a bit. LOL. Some of that was just tryin to keep my bloodsugar stable, but yeah. No afternoon snack for Erin Marie LOL! I should be more than fine ... and I should probably have a later dinner, lol.
It's really gorgeous out. The grass is SOOOOOOOOO emerald green; it's really pretty. Just thinkin 'bout everything I have to do today. Gotta finishin havin some "God time" and get some ducks in a row with student newspaper and Argus stuff. It's crazy to already know what articles I have to do through the end of the year - the end is in sight ... I would just like to know how my life is going to go but if I did I'd feel like I didn't need to trust in God as much and that wouldn't be good AT ALL. I'm also tryin to think about summer stuff. I really need to make some money after I get out of school and before I go to Ames around the first of June, but it's such a short amount of time that I don't know who would hire me. I might just need to do some serious freelancing, which means I need to start gettin stuff sent out like, next weekend then. There's a few Christian publications I'm lookin at, a few diabetes mags, a weekly country music magazine (that'd be fun!), a few Christian music magazines, and a wedding magazine (just quarterly, part of Times Pub so no big deal) housed out of Bellevue with the Bellevue Leader. A possibility. But they're finicky about hiring and such. So we'll see.
I guess that's all for now. Newspaper work, Logic work, papers, and all sorts of stuff to work on. Never ends, does it? And I'm still hopin' to catch Jeffrey again ... ;)
name tags from conferences, but press passes ESPECIALLY, used to mean the world to me. they were like little trophies, little badges of honors. so i kept them together, clipped the ones without lanyards to the ones with lanyards, and hung them in my room for what seems like forever.
tonight i found my name tag from last week's business journalism conference and went to clip it to the rest, when i realized i had no idea why i was saving it. that conference was so far from where i wanted to be, and from where i felt God is calling me in my career. then it hit me that all the press passes were. i didn't want them anymore for the first time EVER. so i threw them away. then there was a small knot in my stomach - like, God, that's gone what's next? exciting, but a little nerve wracking when God tells you He has slightly different plans for you from what you'd been planning for the past, well, almost three years. VERY exciting. i'm VERY grateful and very stoked. i just wish i knew exactly what those plans entailed.
