(check out the song clip - amazingly, the lyrics alone don't it justice.)
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Guess what, yall? There's not enough time in the day to do everything! Pretty crazy realization, huh? lol. Duh me. Sometimes I just have to learn all over again.
I spent the afternoon cleaning and organizing. Believe me, my room needed it. I'm hoping, now that my side looks nicer and my stuff is more organized, that it will help me in the whole scheme of things in setting priorities.
Priorities - there's another thing I'm learning about. Did you know I could go the whole day absolutely running myself to death, doing every little thing i could possibly fit in, every activity, attending every meeting, and at the end of the day just crash, sleep a little bit, wake up and do it all over again? This is a bad tendency I have. Another bad tendency, after I get burnt out, is to get complacent and not do much of anything and procrastinate. Then I get reved up and over-work myself again. It's a vicious cycle.
Last semester I thought a lot about the idea of doing a few things and doing them well, vs doing many things and not being real good at anything. It's a novel approach.
The truth is, when my time on earth here is over, it won't matter how many articles I wrote, how many awards I won, how many speeches I gave, etc.
What will matter is what I did with my time, how I used it. Did I use it to the glory of God, or spend it in futility? There are really only two options.
So lately I've been praying that God will set my priorities, that I'd prayerfully consider the jobs and activities I take on. At first this made me think that I didn't need to do anything that wasn't blatently Christian ... i.e. I shouldn't be writing for any publications that aren't expressly Christian, I shouldn't be on any boards that aren't expressly Christian, etc. And while everything I do must match up with/compliment/be in tune with His will and His Word, we're called to be lights in the world. Just because an activity isn't CHRISTIAN CLUB or just because I don't work for THE CHRISTIAN MAGAZINE doesn't mean that I'm not where God has called me to be - somewhere secular, being a light. Does that make any sense?
But I've been realizing more and more lately that there's so much to do, and I just have to get my priorities straight. It may mean adding in a few things I've been neglecting; It may mean ditching a few things I do that God's not calling me to right now.
Plain and simple I've just realized that I'm unorganized, and now that I'm trying to get organized, I want God to get me there, and not myself, ya know?
First priority: Him and the things He's leading me to do. Second priority: Relationships (some are more important than others). Third priority: Everything else.
I've been trying to get to bed no later than midnight, and be up by 7 am. It's not working perfectly so far, but I hope it eventually does. USUALLY when I stay up late it's just because I have work to do and I've dwaddled all evening, which could have been prevented. Then I sleep in until like, 20 minutes before class, when I really could have used that time to get done what I need to get done (like calling people for newspaper stories) while they're awake, lol.
Ideally, I'd be to bed by midnight (right at midnight, probably), and up at 7 am. I'd read my Bible, hopefully catch Jeff (my mornings are afternoons/evenings his time, and they're usually the best time to catch him these days), and get a jump start on things I need to do for the day.
*sighs*
Sometimes I think I have it all together, and then God says, "Hey, Erin, no you don't but here's some wisdom ..." And I love wisdom. :) Sometimes it's just not fun realizing I still don't know it all yet. LOL.
actually it's been that way for awhile, technically - i cleared the counter sometime late last year for some reason. and actually the internal tblog counter says i have over 5,000 page loads, but anyway - yay for over 1,000 visits! :)
i've been pretty much on-the-go since i wrote last! i baked cookies for dan and shells, and they came over last night. we got to talk, oh, i'd say 45 mins to an hour?? anyway, it was a wonderful time ... good just to see them again, to talk about the good 'ol days, to talk about things we have in common and our new lives ... and it was fun to tell them about jeff! lol.
after they left i spent a little time online, but mostly i just tried to get things ready for the morning. i actually slept really crappy while i was at home (in my wonderful waterbed, LOL) and missed my dorm bed. HOW CRAZY IS THAT?! now watch, it will be just the opposite tonight, but anyway i did miss it here - something i would have never dreamed of doing last semester! liz you're da bomb! :) so yeah, didn't get a lot of sleep for some odd reason, didn't get up as early as i wanted to either. mom made breakfast, which was nice, and i still would have made it in time for my first class, but there was a huge accident on the interstate. what should have been a 15 min TOPS trip from my house to the interstate (about 5 mins) and on the interstate into Iowa turned into a 45 minute journey! i have NEVER gone so slow on the interstate, and actually i've never been locked in traffic on the interstate either. it was pretty crazy. made it back just in time to drop off a few bags, say a few words to jeff and go to my second class. after class liz, jer and i ate lunch, and then i came back and took a cat nap because i was just so exhausted. after that i got a few ducks in a row and got ready to run some errands i needed to run ASAP, but then jeff got online ... and it broke my heart i couldn't talk to him right then, lol! ran the errands, came back as fast as i could and i JUST missed jeff ... wrote him an email, went out and did some reporting, did some errands that weren't vital (but i knew jeff was going to be sleeping anyway) and ate dinner.
tonight i have to work on a newspaper story, do two days worth of creative writing homework and post that online tonight in our virtual classroom ... get things put back away and hopefully organize my time with a calendar/to do list/etc. so yeah, if anyone wants to talk, do because i'm sure i'll be goin crazy with my work, but i certainly won't be twiddling my thumbs tonight!
anyway, i think it is neat how Liz commented in my blog this weekend, and i commented in hers, and i commented in Jer's ("Sioux Falls Jer" ... notice the new distinction on the links to the left) last week, and Jer mentioned me in his, and Liz commented in Jeff's last week, and Jeff commented in Liz's this week. man, yall, if only all 4 of us were here we could do a double-date! lol :) all we need now is for Jer to comment in Jeff's, and Jeff to comment in Jer's ... and then the circle will be complete. LOL. get to work, boys. ;) :P
i've been learning a lot lately. God's been teaching me a lot ... through His word, through circumstance, and quite a bit through Jeff too. i love it all, lol! i've probably mentioned this before, but i've learned you can know the truth about a lot of things ... you can have these wonderful, idealistic stances on life and love and God and relationships ... but then when you're called to put these stances into action, and take them from your head to your heart, it isn't always a piece of cake but you know what? God is gracious, and through His power it IS possible.
it can be hard not being able to talk to Jeff everytime i want to. but honestly, i still have some not-so-perfect, you could say "dependency tendencies" from past relationships that God is working out through this. every time something is wrong i can't run to Jeff - i know he's there for me, i know he cares, i know he's praying for me, but we can't always talk and right now, though it's not seemingly-ideal, that can work to my advantage because i learn that i can NEVER depend on a human, because we're all human and we're all imperfect. it makes me learn to come to God with my cares and my worries first. then God teaches me things, and i'm able to share what i've learned with Jeff, which is fun. :)
Jeff sent me this diagram he drew today ... it's a relationship triangle. similar concept to the flowers he sent - which BTW i will NEVER throw away, LOL, even if they die - basically God is the top point and Jeff and i are the bottom points. they closer both of us get to God, subsequently the closer we get to each other but if one gets closer to God and the other doesn't, the distance between the two of us grows. it was something a couple taught him in highschool, i believe, and i'm glad they taught him that because it's exactly the way it should be. that's the purpose of relationships: to draw two people closer to God, for His glory. and when that happens, God blesses that. :)
anyway, i guess my point is that long-distance is hard, but it's also one of the most rewarding experiences. i wouldn't trade it for anything, and i pray that this relationship continues to be in God's will. i feel that i'm learning and growing so much. Jeff is such a blessing. i hope he can say the same.
on a totally random ;) sidenote ... today while i was at the store i picked up two NEON! blue towels because i accidently left mine in the dryer at home, lol. they're a yummy color. :) i also picked up this CBS book on 911 for $4!! how crazy is that? it should be VERY interesting ... it has accounts from a ton of reporters and a CD with CBS' coverage of the tragedy. i can't wait to watch it - and that may sound morbid - but yall have no idea how that tragedy ... gosh, i mean it so turned me on to the media and i was absolutely glued. i barely slept for a whole week. all i could do was watch the TV ... i don't know ... anyway, it should be really interesting to watch the coverage again. i also got an American!! :) calendar for 99 cents at HyVee, so hopefully that should help keep me organized!
well, i'd better go, but everyone ... God bless and peace out!
i just went to visit my friend sarah's blog and she has "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey playing. that song, it makes me chuckle. my childhood "has" a few songs, if you know what i mean. i can remember my sister and i singing that one like we were "all that." i could listen to that song forever, haha.
Lizzie, I miss you and our room too!! lol. thanks for the sweet comment! I can't wait to be back to "our pad." hehe. :) this semester rocks so hard! LOL!! what are we going to have for communion this week - wine or grape juice? haha!
this morning i got up, had some God time and made cookies for Shells and Dan. i was going to go to Covenant, but the Phillippis weren't going to be there, and i didn't really know where else to go, so i just had God time on my own. probably not the best decision, but at least i had God time and i'm going to go have some more. i've kind of just been waiting by the phone all day, because i don't really have anything else to be doing. LOL. ok, well i do, but not outside of the house or anything. i need to be praying for motivation to get this stuff done! newspaper stories, taxes, some projects ... blah. i have reading to do tonight for some classes too. it's getting kind-of late in the afternoon, so i probably won't head back until tomorrow morning, as originally planned. though i do need to head out pretty early, because i have to make a stop before i hit the road too.
"because you live, my world has twice as many stars in the sky ..."
i've thought about jeff a lot today. i think about him a lot everyday, lol, and i miss him everyday too. the days when we haven't talked in awhile are harder, though, especially when i have things to say. my heart feels so full, i think it's going to explode, LOL. i care about him so deeply. i pray every day, though, that if this isn't God's will for the future that i'll be ready and willing to give it up. i pray that it is His will though. we'll see. it's all about His glory in the end! we come into this world with nothing, we return with nothing. in the end, there is only Him. and i love Him more than anything, because He first loved me and gave me that love. that's something God has been teaching me lately - i already knew in my head that love isn't about feelings, although they're great and they may certainly, at times, go along with it ... but love is so much deeper than that. love is a committment, love is forever, love is putting yourself last place and the beloved first place, and most of all, love submits to God because our first alliegance should always be to Him, and you can't truly love someone without first wanting God's best for them. that's love - the small, small part of love i know. i have so much left to learn.
"Oh what I would do to have The kind of faith it takes To climb out of this boat I'm in Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name And they laugh at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The waves they keep on telling me Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!' 'You'll never win!'
But the voice of truth tells me a different story The voice of truth says, 'Do not be afraid!' The voice of truth says, 'This is for My glory' Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant With just a sling and a stone Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors Shaking in their armor Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name And he laughs at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The giant keeps on telling me Time and time again. 'Boy you'll never win!' 'You'll never win!'
But the stone was just the right size To put the giant on the ground And the waves they don't seem so high From on top of them lookin' down I will soar with the wings of eagles When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth ..."
the minute i got home my parents started acting like the wished i wasn't here, and with one exception, they've continued to act like that. i don't feel good, so i could be moody, but right now i just want to pull my hair out and cry. i wish i could just hop in the car and go back right now, and believe me i would, but Dan is hopefully bringing Shells by tomorrow. i sure hope he does, and don't get me wrong, that is worth sticking around for 100%. i SO enjoyed seeing him today. i just wish there was somewhere else to stay in the mean time ... and i wish i could talk to jeff, because i'm just going crazy. i'm leaving tomorrow right after i see Dan, whenever that is. again, i'm SO glad i came back to see him, and i'm SO glad i got to see him, and i'm SO glad i get to see the two of them tomorrow, but "home" is just not home anymore.
i don't know why i used the title i did. it's cold cold freezing here right now, lol, but anyway i hear people say that phrase and, in a weird way, it sounds cool. lol.
it's O!maha time. i should be back by Monday mornin 10 am at the latest. prayers for me and my driving would be much appreciated. ;)
4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.
7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
13 "You shall not murder.
14 "You shall not commit adultery.
15 "You shall not steal.
16 "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
Went to the Luther Center with Liz tonight. That was a very good experience. A couple funny stories go along with that, but I'm not really in a laughing moon right now. I studied with Donita at the Newman Center afterwards, which was nice. It was great just to catch up with her. She was talking to her boyfriend on the phone, who is this really outgoing guy, and he was like "Let me talk to Erin." So him and I chatted for awhile, which was funny because I've met him once for like 5 seconds. He and Donita are vets at this whole long-distance thing, so it's nice to be able to talk to people who can idenfity. She was going to call him again after we met and they were going to pray together before they went to bed. Namely, she said they were going to pray for Jeff and I, esp. for Jeff, which I thought was the sweetest thing ever. I'll be praying for them too.
Well by the time I hit the sack it will be 1 am at the earliest. I drank no caffine today, hoping to get some longer, better rest in tonight but so much for that. I need to be up at 7 am tomorrow so I'm ready to head out the door at 8 am if need be. Hopefully they'll be some sort of need. If not, I have plenty of studying, a couple of errands, and a couple of classes. I'm looking forward to going home this weekend, but the only downfall is I won't be as accessible, though I'll certainly do everything possible to be as accessible as I can be. If I can see Dan right away, that might be best ... I might cut the trip short and head back here where I can be more accessible. We'll see. Dan is the only reason I'm going back this weekend, so it wouldn't really be a matter of cutting anything short.
I need to change into PJs and do a little Bible reading. God bless.
Erin
more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate ...
"Raymond's in his Sunday best, He's usually up to his chest in oil an' grease. There's the Martin's walkin' in, With that mean little freckle-faced kid, Who broke a window last week. Sweet Miss Betty likes to sing off key in the pew behind me.
That's what I love about Sunday: Sing along as the choir sways; Every verse of Amazin' Grace, An' then we shake the Preacher's hand. Go home, into your blue jeans; Have some chicken an' some baked beans. Pick a back yard football team, Nothin' much of anything: That's what I love about Sunday.
I stroll to the end of the drive, Pick up the Sunday Times, grab my coffee cup. It looks like Sally an' Ron, finally tied the knot, Well, it's about time. It's 35 cents off a ground round, Baby. cut that coupon out!
That's what I love about Sunday: Cat-napping on the porch swing; You curled up next to me, The smell of jasmine wakes us up. Take a walk down a back road, Tackle box and a cane pole; Carve our names in that white oak, An' steal a kiss as the sun fades, That's what I love about Sunday, Oh, yeah.
Ooh, new believers gettin' baptized, Momma's hands raised up high, Havin' a Hallelujah good time A smile on everybody's face. That's what I love about Sunday, Oh, yeah.
That's what I love about Sunday, Oh, yeah."
~What I Love About Sunday
Getting done what needs to be done. I need to pray for motivation. A little weary. Worry, then prayer, then faith, then more news and more worry ... that's life though. And it's worth it.
This is the Bible verse I put in the card I sent Jeff today. I love it: "And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which the distress has goaded you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you've come out of htis with purity of heart." ~ 2 Corinthians 7:11
sittin' here listenin to "Walkin' In Memphis" by Lonestar. just got off the phone with a friend. it was a good chat. heard a few things i needed to hear. good catchin' up too.
"boy, you got a prayer in Memphis ..."
missing Jeff. needing God more and more every minute, ever hour. needing to put this tired little mind to bed ...
Just standing here at the CSC, waiting for the SA meeting I have to cover for the newspaper tonight. It's my first meeting out of training for the SA beat. Not that it's a big deal, I've covered much bigger. Just a thought though.
*sighs* I'm just tired. I slept horrible last night. Anxious and worried till about 3 am, then sleep afterwards, but it was full of nightmares. Had 9:30 am class this morning.
I don't think I've ever noticed that they played radio in the CSC before, lol. Right now "My Boo" by Usher is playing. I must admit, I'm an Usher fan. I don't like everything of his, but I like *ALMOST* all of his radio singles.
Got an email from Jeff's mom today and responded a couple times. It was great to chat with her. She seems like a sweetie! I think she'd get along well with my mom.
No word from Jeff since about 1 am Monday, I think it was. His mom and I agreed no news is good news, and his mom told me bad news travels fast, so if something were wrong she'd probably already know about it by now, so that gives some measure of comfort. Still, it seems things are REALLY heating up in Iraq, and Ramadi for that matter. I miss him. A lot. What I'd give to hear his voice again. I must admit I do more praying these days than I have in a long time, and that is a very good thing.
Jeff if you're reading this do you hate me since your mom and I emailed? :P
today was yet another "one of the best days of my life."
i've gotten flowers before - a single rose from my dad for valentines day every once in awhile, a boquet from an obsessed 6th grader i tutored in high school. but i'd never "really" gotten flowers in the true sense, you know?
until today. :)
today was going alright. i dinked around on the computer all morning and FINALLY got my digital camera working again (working with drivers and stuff ... blah). i got ready for the day and then went to study with donita before picking some medical supplies up at HyVee. while i was at HyVee i saw a dad and his daughter looking for "flowers for mom", which i thought was so touching. i came back to the dorm room with my hands absolutely full of sacks and boxes, and Liz told me i had a "package at the front desk." i freaked out and basically skipped all the way to the front desk. when i got down there, i saw a vase of beautiful yellow roses and figured they had to be mine (LOL) but i told the lady that i was told i had a package. she double checked my ID card, and then handed me the flowers. i was like "oooooooooooooooh, wow!" i absolutely lit up. until then, i had always taken the way outside and around the building to my room since the dorm is so poorly planned and i couldn't figure out how to get back to my room without going outside (lol) but i realized if i went outside (since it was about 0 F out) i'd probably shock the flowers, so i figured it out. i came back to the room with the flowers and i was absolutely extatic. just ask Liz, lol. i was just sooooooo happy ... i was shaking as i took off the plastic around them to read the card. i read it, and it was, WITHOUT QUESITON, the sweetest, most wonderful note i'd ever received. i gave Liz a big hug because i was so excited, and she's always so sweet to share in the excitement, lol. then started the obligatory (but extremely pleasent) calling tree, which lasted for about an hour in which i called all of my closet girl friends and started out the convo with "guess who got roses today?!" they all freaked!! it was so much fun just to laugh and swoon and oooh and aww and share my story. i love my girls. i called my mom and she thought it was really exciting too, and said she was really happy for me, so i was so excited about her reaction. i convinced myself that it was OK to throw away the plastic wrap, but i tied the yellow ribbon from the plastic wrap on the vase under the yellow bow, and i put the card back in its envelope (can't throw the envelope away either!) and stuck it back in the plant, after reading it a billion times!! i keep looking at them and staring at them. they're so beautiful. i have to be productive, LOL, but i wish i could just stare at them all night ... i'm going to fall asleep looking at them. i put them on top of the TV in the center of the room, and they're the first thing you see when you walk in the room. like Liz said, it's so wonderful to walk in the room and see flowers.
but the meaning behind them is what gets me. one for God, one for me, one for Jeff and a vase to draw us all together, closer as time goes on ... it's beautiful. the roses in and of themself are beautiful but the meaning behind them is even more so. and just the fact that he thought of me ... i could cry. lol. what a girl i am. i love them.
jeff if you're reading this, you've made this the best Martin Luther King Jr. Day ever, LOL!! the flowers are SO wonderful, but most of all YOU make my day.
i fully promise you all that i am the happiest girl on the planet right now.
i am so spoiled. :)
so tomorrow classes start again ... i don't know. whatever. doesn't matter. i got flowers today. lol. that's all i'm thinking about.
the only downside today is i haven't gotten to talk to jeff or see him online. it seems like it was a pretty violent day in Ramadi. i'm sure he's ok, but it's always hard not talking to him. as i was walking out of the media center tonight i stopped and watched the picture slideshow on News Night of all our troops who had died recently. every face may seem just like a face, but every face is someone's loved one. most of them so young ... it absolutely breaks my heart. our men and women are dying and being injured because of a group of extremeists - the dumbest, most selfish, evil people on earth. it's disgusting and sickening.
if only i saw my own sin as just as vile.
tomorrow i think i'm going to wear my solider shirt, haha. i keep saying that but i keep forgeting. my purse has a similar picture on it. it'll be nice outfit. :P THIS is the picture on my purse, and it's not the picture on my shirt, but its similar. i've always loved the picture. the shirt says "once in a lifetime." anyway, if you haven't ever looked at that classic picture, do. it's utterly timeless.
this is the prayer of my heart:
I Surrender All
by Clay Crosse
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours
I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams Though the price to follow costs me everything I surrender all my human soul desires If sacrafice requires That all my kingdoms fall I surrender all
If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain If the focus of my vision is the status I attain My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise
Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacraficial fire If all I have is all that You desire I surrender all ...
"I set out on a narrow way many years ago, Hoping I would find true love along the broken road. But I got lost a time or two - Wiped my brow and kept pushing through. I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are. Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars. Pointing me on my way into your loving arms - This much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road, That led me straight to you.
I think about the years I spent, just passing through. I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you. But you just smile and take my hand, You've been there you understand. It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true.
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are. Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars. Pointing me on my way into your loving arms - This much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road, That led me straight to you ..."
~God Bless The Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
ohhhhhh my gosh. what a day.
right now liz and i are sitting her eating. we just got back from hyvee, where we she got chineese and i got some frozen stuff. basically, both of us had barely eaten all day. not hungry, too cold to go out, etc. but actually, when we were all bundled up, it wasn't too bad out and there wasn't any ice on my car, which was good. i got some medical supplies, we got some construction paper for our room ... and we both agreed it was one of the most efficient shopping trips ever! so we got back, talked to jess in the parking lot, warmed up the food, cracked open some cokes, put on ryan cabrera and started eating. we both agreed ANYTHING, at that point would have tasted like heaven because we were starving, lol.
when we have a little more energy here in a few, lol, we're going to put our fav quotes on construction paper hearts or something and finally decorate our room!!
wow. i was starving. not good to basically not eat for 20 hours or so. oh well. no one's fault but my own. ;)
this morning i woke up to a phone call. i tried my best to get out of bed in time, but i couldn't. i heard jeff leaving a message, and i was like nooooooo i missed the call ... lol. i was so completely bummed. he called again a little bit later though (like i had hoped he would) and you better believe i was at that phone as fast as i possibly could. talking to him was INCREDIBLE. it was incredible to finally hear his voice. i wish we could have talked for hours on end ... but just to talk to him for a few minutes was wonderful. i'm so happy. it's been so long, you know? so long since there was really anyone there ... and what was early highschool? kids playin house, really, ya know? jeff, i'm just so happy.
"Cause' its you that I'm runnin to baby. Its you that I'm feelin for lately. Its like a pain that never goes away, And it always starts today. 'Cause you are home to me ..." ~Home to Me, Josh Kelley
"The Erins have found ..."
dun dun dun ...
haha. Erin M. I am so happy for you! :P
Today was a good day. Woke up EXTREMELY tired because of a *minor* (HAHA) incident last night that kept Liz and I up for quite awhile, lol. We'll leave it at that. Had logic class at 10 am, and it basically went over my head because my brain was like mush! Went to a tsunami conference ... checked in at the newspaper office ... talked to Jeff online :) ... waited for a call that didn't come (not for lack of effort, lol! stupid phone!) ... and then I just walked to McDonald's by myself for dinner in our subzero weather. It was an interesting walk, nonetheless, lol. I sat in a booth in the corner, and I kept staring at the bench on the opposite side, like someone should be there. It reminded me of all the times I've eaten alone and done things alone ... gone to movies alone, gone out to eat at nice restaurants alone, gone to events alone ... lol. It was just an odd feeling, because it felt like someone should be there in that other seat, but there was only my reflection in the window.
Awwwww ... aren't I poetic?
haha.
Speaking of which, my creative writing assignment is due online before midnight and I haven't even started! I have to get to that soon!
My Love River
He's up and ready to go by eight a.m. On his way to see his best friend For two years, he hasn't missed a stride To the nursing home to see his lovely bride
For sixty years, they've held each other close And now the time has come to let go He still recalls the promises they made So long ago, on their wedding day
I will always love you I will be faithful I will be there through each and every storm As sure as there's a heaven up above I will always love you My love
Some days she can't remember his name But she holds onto his hand just the same They've learned to speak with more than just words And she knows just what he's saying as he wipes away her tears
He watched her as she slowly slipped away And said I'll see you again in heaven some day He got down on his knees and gave her to the Lord He kissed her one last time as he whispered the words
I will always love you I will be faithful I will be there through each and every storm As sure as there's a heaven up above I will always love you My love"
My verse of the day thingy to the right has SUCH a good verse that I don't want it to disappear at midnight, so here it is:
"If I speak in the tonguesof men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
~1 Corinthians 13, NIV
My purity ring is sitting on the floor right now. It's a little big as it is, but when my hands get cold, or at least when my fingers do, they shrink just enough so that the ring falls off, lol. Anyway, it's funny because there have been times when I thought I threw the thing away, when it's rolled under a car and I've left it only to find it in the snow hours later ... it's like the ever-present purity ring. I just can't seem to get rid of it. And I think that's a good thing. :)
Something else: I have the best roomie EVER. Liz if you're reading this, per chance, I couldn't ask for a better roomie! You are such a kind, sweet, caring, funny, hilarious, smart, motivated, talented, wonderful individual and I am nothing short of lucky to get to room with you! I love ya and I love our room!
"Cause I been waiting all my life, For a break like this. It's my chance of a lifetime - I just know it is. "I gotta go find these dreams," Was the last thing that I said. And then I did. But you were wrong - Love was what I wanted all along ..." ~Then I Did, Rascal Flatts
My mind is kind of swimming right now ... some of you will know what I mean ... why state the obvious?
LOL Erin just IM'ed me with a party hat smiley. That girl cracks me up. I wish we had Mrs. Harvey's Latin class here at USD some how. Erin did you know Harvey said that you and I were the life of the class, and now that we're gone it's no fun anymore? lol. The MSN party hat smiley is not officially named "Erin." Eugapae! :P
Well, that's probably all for the night ... I have plenty to do and plenty to think about ...
Everyone take care!
Vale,
Erin
"Makes me wish that my life never knew - The day before you. Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you, Were shapin' my heart for the day that I found you. You're the reason for all that I've been through. Then I'm thankful for the day before you ..."
I feel antsy. Anxious. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's everything. I think it's a combonation of a few things. Oh well.
Today so far has been good. I had logic class at 10 a.m. Nick and Joe are in that class, so that's good to know. It seems like a complicated class - might need help in it since it delves quite a bit into the math side of things, lol. Next up was Desktop Publishing. Our teacher, Jan, is super cool and laid back. I think it's going to be a fun (and expensive) class. Her syllabus is the most attractive I've EVER seen, haha, so I think that's a good thing. It almost begged me to read it. Maybe I can make my resume look like that!! ;) Liz and Jer are in that class, so I sat by them and that rocked. There is another kid from Omaha in that class who actually looked familiar, but I didn't get to talk to him. There is also a girl who graduated from Papio in '01 and who lives in Papillion, so that was pretty neat to meet and talk to her too. Alex is in that class too. I'd met him once before. We had to stand up and say what our passion was when we introduced ourselves ... everyone was like "journalism" "sports" "blah" "blah" but Alex said "the Lord God." That kid is incredibly open and passionate about his faith. It rocks. My prayer is to be like that. When it was my turn, I said my passions were "theology and religion" - but it doesn't even compare. I wanted so bad to say what he said ... but I didn't want to be a copy cat. I want to be there, to be to that point where I'm overflowing with passion for Christ but I'm not ... I don't want to pretend to be something, someone I'm not. That's a lie. But my prayer, God, is that I get to that point. It really is.
After class, Liz, Jer and I went to lunch. We all got a kick out of my fortune cookie and chopstick wrappers. SOMEONE can't translate, lol!! "We hope you enjoy your Very Nice Chinese Food." haha. I picked up a few things I needed at the store, took a nap, talked to Erin M. (yay Meeko! haha) watched a little Fox news, and then went to dinner with a bunch of people from my floor. It was good getting to know them. I think Liz and I have yet ANOTHER guy who has taken a special liking to us, lol. NOT AGAIN. He was nice enough ... but a little odd ... and a little old to be in the dorms (23 and a freshman, lol!!) Anyway, he's certainly NOTHING like our wonderfully obnoxious stalker. And when I say "wonderfully", I am, of course, kidding.
So that's been it so far! I actually have some homework for tomorrow I need to do. I need to read King's Letter from Birmingham and write a short reaction paper and get some syllabus things straight in both classes. I should also work on my online class. In a little bit here Donita and I are meeting to discuss the letter, so that should be cool. I better seriously hit the books when I get back!
I'm so glad I got to chat with Erin today. That girl is so fun to talk to. Plus she had some really encouraging things to say.
"And I won't forget the way You loved me ...
All that I wanted -
All that I needed in You ..."
"On the Way Down" so reminds me of a Christian song. I think of it as one, at least.
Well, I need to read that letter before I leave to go see Donita. More later I'm sure.
the war - this "jihad" - is very real, and very unnecessary. i'm not saying America's military action in Iraq is unnecessary - not at all. but this whole "jihad" - started by extremists, unprovoked - is just ridiculous. what a senseless loss of lives they've started, and they revel in it. i have Google news alerts for certain cities in Iraq, and often i'll get an email with a headline like "18 Americans Killed". 'Hmmm,' I'll think. 'I saw a far lower body count on the news today,' and sure enough, it's some idiotic extremist site full of propaganda. don't ask me HOW these "news sites" make google news, because they're full of BS. those sites - and a lot of other things - anger me.
God bless our troops!
other than that sour note, tonight was great. i got back from classes and listened to some Rascal Flatts while catching up with some people/things on the computer. Liz and I met Jer for dinner at Lakota, and ended up eating with Vondo too!! we were laughing at how Jer was the only guy there (at first) and he was eating chicken while us two girls wanted beef, and we wanted it now!! haha. i bought a small pint of Moose Tracks, and i yelled at Vondo to bring us four plates. i ended up rolling the thing between my hands to melt it some, shaking it out on a plate and cutting it with a knife. we each had a small amount of icecream, LOL. we found out vondo used to take tap lessons when he was a kid and got a HUGE kick out of that. oh vondo. what a kid. angie and dacia stopped by to say hi, and dacia, vondo and i decided that we're going to watch Luther this 3-day weekend, so i'm excited about that! then Vondo and i went to cover an SA meeting. he was showing me the ropes because i'm going to take over for him since he's features editor now. good times - just like last spring when was a senior and came down to visit the staff. vondo and i went to an SA meeting then also. then i walked back.
since i've been back i've just been catchin up on some email and calls! i talked to mand, al, mom, dad and rhonda. erin m. emailed, which was awesome, and alejandro from summer camp over 2 YEARS AGO added me to his contact list - which was crazy! i haven't talked to that kid in SO long. he's back in Mexico now going to college, so it was neat and crazy to get to talk to him again. Sarah and i are talking now. i have to finish up my email to erin and try to get these pics downloaded and then i'll probably finish a little cleaning and do some reading/journaling before i shut the lights off ... prob around midnight. this new roomie thing is working out splendidly!
oh - the stalker part of the title. this dude is stalking liz and i. we're creeped out and lock our door a lot. 'nuff said.
guess that's about it! i'm so excited that i HAVE to watch Luther for Honors Ideas in History and write a reaction paper on it. what a dream assignment! tomorrow i have desktop publishing and honors intro to logic. we'll see how those go. i logged into my online creative writing class today and found out most of the students are moms and construction workers and such, lol!! the instructor is married to an instructor at UNL too ... which is weird. i wonder how they make that work! LOL. maybe i'm lost ...
well, i think this is all for the night. i have to email Jeff K. too ... peace out and drop me a line!
"He packed his bags when he was just 18 To see a world he thought he'd never seen But he knew when he met her That she was the girl He'd been waiting for
And each night they spent talking on the front porch swing And like it came straight out of a movie scene But one night she stepped out as the sun began to set When she got to the porch she found a letter that read
You're the only girl I'll ever love And I'd do anything not to give you up If I could only stop the world When you're standing by my side See I'm having the time of my life Yes, I'm having the time of my life
The months went by it was their wedding day A church on a hill wedding bells rang away She looked like a princess All dressed up in pearls It was her proudest day
And he stood all alone in a darkened church hallway He got down on his knees and he started to pray He thanked the Lord for his family and the perfect bride But he couldn't hold back what he was feelin' inside And he said
She's the only girl I'll ever love And I'd do anything not to give her up If I could only stop the world When she's standing by my side See, I'm having the time of my life Yes, I'm having the time of my life
Forty years went by and she lived most of God's plan She stood alone in an attic, wedding dress in her hand And she held an old letter written so long ago But she'd never forget it No matter how old
And as she turned to put the dress away And pack up the years He was standing in the doorway With his eyes full of tears And he held her
'Cause you're the only girl I'll ever love And I'd do anything not to give you up If I could only stop the world When you're standing by my side See I'm having the time of my life Yes, I'm having the time of my life"
Just sitting here, listening to some Mark Schultz. I love the song I posted above. It's picture-perfect. Wouldn't we all love a story like that?
It's grey outside. White-grey. As crazy as it sounds, I prefer this weather to sunny weather, but what I'd love right now is a violent, stormy summer day. haha. The grey is still a little lonely, cold and dead today.
Classes were good. My Renaissance and Reformation Europe class is going to be spectacular. The professor is super nice, and it's a small, discussion-oriented class. Plus we get to teach a lot of it to each other through presentations. The prof was giving an overview today and it was like music to my ears to hear all the people and places and events I loved studying in high school - Botacelli, Calvin, the Medichi, etc. We have to write a major research paper and give a major presentation on the topic of our choice, and I'm tempted to go for Calvin since I still have a lot to learn about him, but something is kind of telling me to broaden my horizons too ... take a Counter-Reformation theologian or something. We'll see. Maybe I'll read through my theologian book tonight and see if I find someone particularly interesting. ;)
Ideas in History was also great. Erica and Donita are in my class, so I'm exicted about that. The professor is fascinating. He loves discussion, learning, correcting each other, tying together a wealth of disciplines, non-linear learning, rethinking, etc. As much as I will have to defend my conservative beliefs (what can i say, it will still be better than being at U Berkley!) I think I'll still get a lot out of the class. We have sections on violence, love, religion, science, ... a wealth of topics accompanied by an equally diverse body of literature we have to read. Plus we HAVE to watch Luther and watch a reaction paper - HOW CAN IT GET ANY BETTER? HOW?! :D
I was just listening to the song "We Are Calling You" by Mark Schultz. It blended the traditional western type of music with African, Native American, Middle Eastern, etc into a praise song and it was gorgeous. Absolustely gorgeous. It made me think of how awesome it will be when ever knee will bow ... every tribe and tounge ... so often I look down or don't think much of other cultures, but they're all loved by God and they were all created by Him (though if they don't believe in His Son He doesn't love what they believe) ... and we're all sinners. So who am, I ya know? My Windows Media Player was on random and the next song that came on was "He Reigns" by the Newsboys ... so it was completely fitting! "All God's children singing glory! glory! alleluia! He reigns!"
Between classes today Joe and I had a good conversation about our beliefs. I need to remember that even if no one approves of this theological rethinking, I'm called to it and they can deal. But it's encouraging to hear words of approval and support from friends.
It's 5 p.m. I think I'll go get some dinner here soon. No mail today. :( Oh well. I have a feeling they're still not forwarding mail from Beede. I have to go take care of a couple of things there tomorrow. I have Desktop Publishing and Honors Intro to Logic tomorrow also.
This semester having so many liberal arts, classical humanities type classes vs last semester's boring, basic journalism classes ... I had just forgot how engrossed I get in literature, philosophy, essay writing ... etc ... it's wonderful. :) It felt like home. But I have a million things I'm interested in. This one just doesn't seem so old right now because it's been a neglected area in my life.
to all of you who consider me a friend - who take time to visit this, and lend a listening ear and a word of wisdom as i constantly wrestle with my own thoughts and beliefs - thank you. i love you.
three onion rings and a fry (don't ask - i'm tired)
good movies comin' out. wish i someone to see them with. gosh me and this "i want a boyfriend" thing. what can i say, i'm a sucker for romance. but who knows what God has in store for me ... who knows if i'm ready. who knows? God knows. haha. :)
hmmm ... i'm sleepy. ;) i was going to write this super-duper incredible blog, but today has been a long one and my mind is muddled. it doesn't help thinking about how classes start in less than 12 hours either! it's weird to think that right now, i'm technically still on winter break. sure doesn't feel like it!
things couldn't be going better here, however. i'm having a great time and i have a feeling this semester is going to be soooooo good, thank God!
anxiously awaiting my inbox ... thinkin about how i need to go to the laundrymat tomorrow ... thinkin about classes and how i don't know where they are and i should figure that out ... thinkin about how i need to pick up the mess i've made tonight so i can read my Bible and journal a bit ... stuff i need to do ...
love yall. drop me a line. leave a comment. pass a long prayer requests. ya know - KIT (keep in touch).
it's 5 pm, and i'm just sitting here at the neuharth center on one of the cyber cafe (or whatever you'd like to call them) computers. they have 6 really tall ones with chairs that i have to kind-of stand on my tiptoes to sit on. i like that for some reason. haha. :) tall chairs and tables are fun.
ANYWAY, that's a little random. it's hard to believe it's already the evening. last night i was really really hot in my new room and sick to my stomach, but eventually i fell asleep and slept good, though i couldn't find my radio or my TV plug. today i woke up around 10:30 am (pretty good for goin' to bed after 2 am) and got dressed, caught up on some email, ate lunch, got 99.9% of the rest of my books, checked out of my old dorm room, picked up some old mail, mailed jeff's letters, got my key card configured, returned some books, etc. i heard from jeff today, which was a relief. it was also just plain good to hear from him. :)
i'm thinkin about catchin' some dinner @ the CSC. then i need to head back to my room and finish the little bit of unpacking i have to do, download a few things and organize my drawers. i also need to get ready for classes tomorrow! gosh i can't even remember when my first one is, lol ...
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: 1. Journalist4JC 2. DanAbramsFanGirl (lol) 3. GrapeIcee
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. smile 2. my enthusiasm 3. my calves (lol it's weird but i've always had really pretty buff ones because i walk a lot and i walk super fast)
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. myself when i get angry 2. my chin 3. i'd like to be skinnier
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: 1. British 2. Irish 3. Native American
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. low blood sugars/passing out 2. having future regrets that will be my fault 3. driving doesn't always full-out scare me, but it freaks me out a lot
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: 1. God 2. prayers 3. friends
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: 1. black jones soda hoodie 2. my jeans with the gold glitter stars 3. my dangily red star earrings
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists) at this moment: 1. Rascal Flatts 2. Garth Brooks 3. all other country :)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: 1. The Dance - Garth Brooks 2. God Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts 3. These Days - Rascal Flatts
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: 1. reading my Bible/spending time with God consistantly 2. finding a church here/Christian groups and sticking to them 3. exercising/eating healthier/getting my diabetes under control
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given): 1. someone who loves God more than he could ever possibly love me 2. the strongest of friendships (someone who can be serious and goofy) 3. understanding, forgiveness and dedication
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE 1. i can pick up a ton of things with my toes (lol) 2. i've had over 80 articles published since i was 15
3. i know Greek (i wish!)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: 1. smile 2. giving attitude towards others
3. when they're good with kids
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: 1. anything without God
2. eat "foo foo food"
3. hmmm ... not sure ...
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: 1. freelancing 2. studying Latin/philosophy/linguist ics/history/theology 3. journaling/blogging/writi ng emails/etc
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: 1. get a hug :) 2. go down to my mailbox and find some mail 3. drive back to downtown Omaha ...
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: 1. journalist 2. mmagazine editor 3. MOM (hopefully all 3 eventually!)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: 1. Italy/Greece 2. D.C. again 3. hmmm ...
THREE KID'S NAMES: 1. Julieanna (so i can call her jules, julie, anna, anne, etc) 2. Anastasia 3. not sure ...
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. honor God with my life as much as i can 2. start a family 3. make as much difference in individuals lives as i can
hey all! i'm going absolutely crazy with tblog not working! i really hope they're figuing something out, because it seems it just disapeared. if it doesn't come back i'll probably just revert to writing in this thing, but i sure hope it does. i like the tblog format much better and there are a lot of memories in my "official" blog, lol. i hope they didn't loose them all!
well, today has been good so far, i guess you could say. this morning mom and i went to the bank to settle up on some money i owed her, and to cash in some savings bonds for the little bit i owe for tuition and books. then we went to Super Walmart in Bellevue. saturdays at the only super walmart in the area = pure hell! it was a mad house in there - you would have thought people were doing last minute Christmas shopping or something, lol! anyway, we got what i needed for college for this month and then went home for lunch. then we went back out and i said goodbye to mand and al (i SO wish they went to college with me!), went looking for a fridge at thrift shops because i INSISTED we look there first (no luck, lol), and went to walmart. at walmart i got some spiderman carpet for my dorm room (lol yes i am a dork) and a few last things i needed. at one of the thrift shops i walked past a row of books with their spines facing out - but one was facing me and it said "Luther's Small Catechism" on it. BINGO, BABY! i love that kind of stuff, plus i'm sure it will be good for my reformation class ... for which i feel so blessedly prepared for btwn that, my copy of Calvin's institutes and various other books, lol! then we went home and had dinner. now tonight i have to pack for college because i leave at like 6 am or 7 am tomorrow for Vermillion. we have to get things out of my old room and then move into my new room with Liz.
i'm excited about my new room. numero uno, it's with Liz. numero dos, it's in Julian, which i think i'll like better. we have a double large room with THREE beds and quite a bit more space. the desks and a lot of other things are moveable, which is exciting (haha). we also get a workout room, which isn't spectacular but it's better than nothing!
at the same time, i'm sad. i don't know. it's that whole "Where do I belong?" feeling misplaced things. couple months here, couple months there, etc ...
so yeah.
yesterday was INCREDIBLE. i went to Westside to help Mrs. Harvey at 11:45 am. we got food in the cafeteria (which is SO much better than USD's and is just incredible, btw! shrimp bar and pizza hut and taco bell and subway sandwhiches, etc etc etc infinity!). then we went and ate in the teacher's lounge - got to talk to a lot of the principals, counselors, teachers, etc. mr. howe (journalism) and mrs. harvey (Latin) spent the whole time trying to convince me to come back eventually and teach their classes when they want to retire - and they were dead serious! lol. i'd love to do that ... but i have other things to do first (aka journalism) ya know? anyway, harvey and i worked out a plan, so i'll think about it and look into it more lol. that would be quite a ways down the road. anyway, i typed hundreds of lines of Vergi's Aeneid for harvey in latin and added in the macrons at her desk ... got to help some people and see a lot of old friends ... gave cookies to some old teachers, chatted it up, etc. it was a super day! then i got joe a Jones' rootbeer at Starbucks and brought that to him. i came home, ate dinner and then babysat the Neal girls. we had the BEST time ever, lol. they played "beauty shop" on me (hey, they're getting better ... i walk out looking a little more presentable every time! haha!), played a board game, watched a movie, colored, read books, ate snacks, chased each other around the house, cleaned their rooms a bit, etc. and i must say the roads were pretty crazy yesterday and i spun out twice. it was so scary. i got in control without fishtailin too bad though. God was SO good. and is so good. :)
plain and simple - i love westside, and westside loves me! lol it's true!
well that's all for now! tons of packing to do before tomorrow morning.
love yall.
erin
PS- if i don't get back to yall right away, i'll probably take down my comp tonight and prob won't have it up and running again until tomorrow evening.
*sighs* it's been a day. an odd one, because last night was very long, this morning was very short and this evening was pretty long. i am SO incredibly sore from working out two days in a row. what a wimp i am!
ever just felt completely out of place? not knowing who you are to whom and where you really belong?
tomorrow is going to be busy ... post office, store, salon, westside, joe's house, neal's ... so i better get going.
i feel out of character. i'm a little unsettled with the fact that now i'm probably going back to college on Sunday morning. two days, folks. i just don't feel ready. that's the one thing about being in college - and this applies to other people who aren't in college too - but it's like, where is home? here in Omaha? my heart is here in Omaha. many people/places i hold dear are here. but this house? as much as i can like it sometimes, i need out.
Vermillion? that's where i go to school, but my heart is hardly in it. i'm always counting the days until i can go "home."
or Ames? i hardly know the place. i'll have an apartment for 10 weeks there before coming back to Omaha for about 6 weeks and then back to Vermillion for another 4 months.
i read an article in a Christian magazine last night about how we're never supposed to feel settled, or at home in this world because we're not. strangers. aliens. weary travelers. i also read an article in a different Christian magazine about how marriage won't solve lonliness. i see the point. but i think it helps, although it certainly shouldn't be anyone's #1 reason to marry - just to have constant company.
right now what i want so bad is a family of my own. maturity-wise, however, i wonder if i'm really there. i think i need a couple of years at least. but i'd love a relationship - something. but really, i want a husband. i want kids. i want my own family, my own community. my own church. while some of me years to do big things, a larger part of me, anymore, yearns simply to love and be loved - to leave a large impact - the lasting kind - the kind you count in moments and memories and lives, and not in dollar signs and media appearences.
Heaven is my home. i'm not there right now. i have a lot to learn here. but while i'm here, a little heaven on earth would be nice.
sitting here with an empty coffee cup, listening to Walkin' In Memphis by Lonestar - the version i mentioned last night. only tonight it seems more fitting, because i'm much more mellowed out.
maybe it was the tea, which was in my coffee cup. if there's something reflective about a hot cup of tea, i think there's something more so about an empty cup of tea. just seems like there is, lol. i may have to go make myself another cup.
if you're looking for some cr-a-zy and interesting entries, try the last two. i have a feeling this one won't be.
snowed like crazy yesterday, last night, today, and tonight we'll probably total right around a foot of snow. watched Napolean Dynamite today ... which is completely odd, and slightly refreshing. not incredibly so though, however. my computer was freaking out to the Nth degree, so i backed up as much as i could on a flash drive and reinstalled XP. i didn't have room to backup my music, and i'd sold a lot of my CDs after i copied them to my computer, so i lost a TON AND A HALF of music, which stunk. my sister is letting me put her CD's on my comp (quite a few of them are ones i gave her after i loaded them on my comp) so i'll get back john mayer, the coors and and clay aiken (and i of course didn't sell rascal flatts) but i lost josh kelly, josh groban, epic hero and josh gracin. :( such is life, i guess. a bummer still, though.
so tonight has spent reloading things on my computer, writing jeff the second letter that i never got to writing last night and chatting with sarah. right now i'm listening to "Hey Juliet" by LMNT. it's a super cute song, though i'm not in a bouncy mood right now at all really. didn't get to talk to jeff today, which is alright of course but i've never missed talkin' to someone online so much!
i guess that's all for the night. pretty short for me, 'eh? Omaha kiddos are out of school tomorrow again - i'm happy for them. snow days were always fun.
God bless,
erin
-----
found out a large part of the reason why i wasn't peppy - my blood sugars were astronomically high for no apparent reason. they're coming down now though, thank God. :)
Haha. Just sittin' here listenin' to some good 'ol country music ... like the above by Chris LeDoux and Garth Brooks and "That's What It's All About" by Brooks & Dunn. And maybe "Hey Good Lookin'" by Jimmy Buffett. LOL. Did yall know that he's a distant cousin of our very own Warren, and that both sang at the opening of Cheeseburger in Paradise this summer at Village Pointe? Yes, it's true! ;)
The cowboy is the modern day knight.
Mmmhmm.
LOL I'm sitting here singing "Hey Good Lookin'" at the top of my lungs, winking at my computer. I don't even know what the heck I'm winking at. I think I left my brain in bed. hehe.
Now it's time for "Front Porch Lookin' In" by Lonestar. I want to have a husband some day who will sing that song to my family. LOL. Ok, it's corny but it's true.
And now I'm listening to "Nothin' Bout Love Makes Sense" by LeAnn Rimes.
OH MY GOODNESS. EVERYONE *HAS* TO GO HERE and play "Walkin' In Memphis" by Lonestar. IT IS SIMPLY INCREDIBLE. Seriously. You HAVE to. I can't get over it.
Newayz ...
Today I got up at about 10:30 a.m. to talk to Jeff, but he wasn't on. But that's ok. I ended up having a pretty good convo with Sam and some EXCELLENT God-time singing praise songs, "over-analyzing" Romans (haha), etc. I then realized that Jay was supposed to call today so we could go out for some espresso (haha) before he left for his much-deserved Chicag o vacation. So I got dressed, but I kind of had a feeling he would forget to call. It's 8:09 p.m., so I guess he still might, but I don't think he will and that's ok. I realize he's in high demand and time is at a premium. Needless to say I will miss seein' him. It might not have worked out anyway ... today was not a good day to take I-80 downtown, or to be on any interstate for that matter. This summer he had me drop by and he said he'd "whip me somethin up to eat" so I thought about doin the same for him ... and then I thought about what we had in the house. LOL. Jay's an incredible cook and I'd probably be lucky to make pancakes. But I sure would have given it a shot! Lol. But it didn't work out. Oh well. There's always spring break.
So anyway, Jeff eventually got on and I had a GREAT time talking to him, as usual. Big hooray for that! He gave me his Iraq address so I'm going to send him a letter now ... or two or three or TEN. LOL! I wrote him one last night but I have a huge urge to write another one tonight ... haha. We'll see. I LOVE writing to people and I LOVE getting mail. If I write one tonight I'll try to hold off at least a week. We'll see if I can do it. haha. But yeah, I always enjoy talkin' to Jeff. Good, good times.
So right now it is a true winter wonderland outside. There is one tree with Christmas lights still on that is is within sight of my window, and it makes me wonder why the weather couldn't have thrown it's fluffy white temper tantrum two weeks ago or so for Christmas. LOL. Oh well. It's so neat how when it's all blizzardy outside the sky is so much lighter because of the snow in the air and the light it reflects. It's almost a dark lavendar. Gorgeous. If my digital camera would take a good picture of it, I'd post one but I don't think it'll shoot well at all since it's dinky. I may try anyway though.
So yeah, the more I think about it the more I'm bummed about not seeing Jay. That's life though. He's just one of those people I like to be around - always has some new project or plan up his sleeve. That's contageous. He's also one of those people that makes everyone feel welcome, and he's just fun to watch in action. Especially when he's selling art and socializing. And he always introduces me to something new - be it a new restaurant downtown or crazy Thai food or art or interesting homeless people or whatever. lol. He's a character ... tosseled hair, Armani (or something like it) suits, a bling bling watch ... and a passion for life. haha. oh well. I'm lucky to see him 4 times a year these days.
Well, it's 9:06 p.m. now. A lot has happened in the last hour. Todd called and asked me if I would babysit the girls at 6:30 p.m. on Friday. I'm so excited! I love those girls. They're basically my sisters ... and Lauren always tells me I'm her "soul sista" or her "sista in Christ." lol. That will be good times.
About 30 to 45 minutes ago Sonja, the hall director, called and told me I'm moving from 4th floor Beede (with my hellion of a roommate who hates my guts, smokes, does drugs, lets stuff rot in the room, steals my stuff, and a bunch of other stuff I can't even mention) to 3rd floor Julian with Liz G! Liz and I soooooo wanted to room together, and we're extatic! She's a sweetheart. We both want to study more this semeter, have a roomie that will motivate us, have a roomie who doesn't drink/smoke/do drugs/have sex/etc and who will get each other out of the room more for happy, safe parties or get togethers or something. haha. So I'm stoked about that! I can move in starting 8 am on Monday, so I'll probably head up around 5 a.m. I think my dad is taking the day off to help me move because I have to move across campus, which isn't that big of a deal because it's a small campus, but it will still be difficult. I will be RIGHT by the Neuharth building, which will be super helpful. I'll far away from the dining hall, but I didn't get that many meal plans this semester anyway (took most of it in flex bux) so I'll probably save most of the meal plans for Spring when it's nicer to walk over there or for finals week when they turn into FlexBux anyway.
Anyway, I'm happy for all the school-aged kiddos around here. No school tomorrow! What can I say ... snow days were exciting and I live vicariously. hehe.
Oh yes, and I must announce that today was a magenta underware day. LOL. Why must I announce this, you say? It appears that green underware day was a sure hit (ok, not really) and I thought - colored underware days are worth repeating! haha. No actually it's a funny story because, well ... here we go with TMI again ... one day I bought this pair of green underware and I really liked them. I went back awhile later to buy more, since I needed more, but it's a pain going through all those hangers and the only ones I could find in the same style, same size were black. So I bought a ton of black ones out of frustration. It saved me time that day, but really, underware should be fun, not dull. LOL. Anyway, I have a few pairs that aren't black (aka green and magenta!), but not many. OK, now I've really crossed the line ... This is beyond "dork" ... borders on "disturbing nerd." LOL. Oh well ... we all wear underware, ya know. At least I hope yall do. Rumor used to be that Madonna didn't. But who really likes her anyway? One thing is for sure, though:Sarah and I agree that you shouldn't buy underware at the Dollar Store ... or the kind at Gordmans with a whistle on them. LOL. That's odd and WRONG, mainly.
WOAH. Sarah just asked me if I could name the two blonde twins on 7th Heaven and I said maybe Alex?? but it was wrong. Eventually she came up with the names on her own, and told me I was thinking of the two little blonde twins on Full House. Good one, Sarah! haha.
Well, I think I'm gonna go now. I'll probably pack a little for college and write Jeff (another) letter. haha. I need to write my blood sugars down tomorrow too. Hmph. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting change, right? Gosh. Like Steve used to say, "No one can do it for you, Erin you just have to do it for yourself." I know that. But why is it so hard for me? I don't have forever to grasp this. I wonder how Steve is, btw. My Christmas cards didn't mend every bridge I was hoping they would. Guess that's the way it's meant to be??
This snow is crazy. We're supposed to get 10 to 15 inches now by Wednesday night and we're in a Winter Storm Warning. I have friends in Sioux Falls, S.D. and Webster City, I.A. (a lil north of Ames which is a lil north of Des Moines) who are in the same boat also - a pretty crazy storm! I think the Argus, Herald and Trib are all running/ran weather centerpieces too. That's the midwest for ya - weather doesn't blead, but it does make the lead. haha. Well I guess that's anywhere though, depending on what else is going on.
Well I'm going to give my trusty "news judgement" and little fingers a rest.
Peace out, yall!
Erin :)
PS- There is no thundersnow. I just love it.
it stinks to watch someone you care about curl up on the floor and bawl because some dumb boy broke her heart. i almost forgot how gut-wrenchingly empty that feels. *sighs*
just sittin here, listening to "Amazing" by Josh Kelley, frustrated as heck. i was supposed to go to mand's house, all of a mile away, at 3 p.m. today so we could chill. i jumped in the shower at about 2:00 p.m. and suddenly my dad starts yelling at me and says i can't go to mand's today because it's icy. i didn't even know what to say. it's not even that icy and the road crews have been out for hours. for months upon months now i've been able to basically do and go whatever/wherever/wheneve r because i'm 18 and for goodness sake, i can't be locked up anymore. but all he yelled was "i can't afford another car." so i got in the accident in Ames. ACCIDENT. that's what frustrates me so, so bad. both of my parents made plenty of mistakes when they were my age, and compared to where they were when they were 18, i have it together ... anyway the car was FAR from totaled. they told me it really wasn't my fault because i had stopped, and the other lady was speeding, etc etc etc, not that i didn't take partial responsibility for it ... but anyway they told me it was totaled and they'd only get a couple hundred dollars for it - which didn't match up with the police report or what the police officer said by any means. in fact the police report said there was only about $2,000 in damages - not good but far from totaled. they got about 4 to 5 times what they said they'd get for it selling it for parts - and i found that out by accident. they certainly weren't going to tell me that. so anyway, i called mand and told her i couldn't come. she asked why i was crying and i said i don't know, i'm just so frustrated. i think it's a culmination of a bunch of things i've been bottling up, but when you're finally independent (not financially independent, but certainly struggling and aiming to get there) and then someone just yanks something away from you because they're ticked (he's mad, i know that i'm just not sure what about) ... it's just too much today. i get so prideful about my independence, but for goodness sake i've been held back by so many for so long and i've always had to fight for everything. i've driven to Sioux Falls in heavy snow and today there's a little bit of ice (and a lot of SALT) on the streets and i can't drive a mile away. they're relishing the control they have on me for a few more days before i go back. soon, however, they won't know where i'm at at any given time and they won't be able to control me. like keri said this summer, i just need to save like crazy. get myself a clunker, whatever but break off as soon as possible because they will eventually ruin me. i'm tired of the parents who are supposedly so forgiving and giving one minute but the next minute scream and call me names i can't even type on here and tell me i'm stupid and worthless and they wished they'd never had me. and then it's just even more frustrating that, to be financially independent from them it's gonna take awhile ... but i'm just going to have to suck it up and do it.
so anyway, after the shower i just put on a tank top and pj pants. it's not like they're going to let me out of the house today anyway. guess i'll get some reading and scholarship/grant stuff done ... tomorrow is a different story, though. Jay leaves for Chicago and i probably won't see him for at least another 6 months. i can't be locked up again tomorrow.
...my sister just called. the 'rents had dropped her off at school, and she's been stuck there for an hour because they canceled practice and mom and dad won't pick her up. they just laugh at her when she says she needs to be picked up. she called me crying just to talk because she knows that right now they won't let me drive and get her all of a mile away when i usually drive her places when i'm home to help my parents out. she thought about walking home, but it's below freezing out and she didn't have gloves, and then finally mom called me (why me?) and said she was going to go get her. whatever. i'm speechless.
i'm making this a little quick (and probably a littler shorter than usual, lol, which is probably a good thing) because Dharma & Greg is on in 9 minutes, lol. i DON'T watch sitcoms, like, ever but for some reason i like this one.
this morning i woke up too late to make it to any of the services. :-/ my alarm never went off (i need to get a new one). i woke up feeling physically ill, but anyway i felt bad about church too. i have the deepest, weirdest, most disturbing, scary dreams almost every night and they really throw me off when i wake up.
but anyway, i got up and Jeff was on, so i got to talk to him, which was awesome and encouraging and fun and such as usual. :) i'm super glad we happened to meet online. i must say i'm not a morning person, but i look forward to gettin up in the mornings now because i know it's the evening for him and he'll probably be online. haha. we'll see if i still love mornings when i have to be in class during them! though this semester i don't have classes until 9:30 am and 10:30 am. anyway, then i cleaned, and then decided i had a few people to call.
mand and i decided we're getting together tomorrow afternoon. then i called Jeff K. Jeff K. was the president of the Nebraska Junior Classical League last year and i was the secretary. it's basically an organization for high school Greek and Latin students. anyway, we worked really well together and although we didn't agree theologically (he's catholic, i'm protestant) we both had the same political views and i super admired a lot of things about him, which we had in common. anyway, that's confusing but yeah ... so we ended up meeting at Starbucks at 4 p.m. today and we talked for about an hour and fifteen before he had to leave for evening mass. it was great to catch up, to hear about all the "politiking" (haha good 'ol AP style book) he did for G.W., the RNC (which he was a paige at) and all that jazz. We talked about goals ...
and then we actually got into a convo about the differences in our theologies, which we'd never really gone into before. needless to say we both walked a way with things to think about and a new perspective. it was a great convo, and yeah, it really got me thinking. i need to sleep on it, but i'm sure i'll talk about it more tomorrow. it was funny, because when joe and i would have our protestant/catholic debates, we always went to the same Starbucks. when we started those debates, i at least, was dead set on arguging down to the letter and word but after awhile i think, though we still differ on a lot of things, i saw through what i disagreed with and saw a person who truly loves God. and i think God really showed me that "beating him with a Bible" (which i'm afraid i did) wasn't going to win him over, but praying for him might and that we should build a friendship, not off of a love for debate but off of a love for God, though that ability to discuss and debate is still there. anyway, it was always different ... because Joe knows his Bible ... he just takes things differently and has a few more books, ya know and to him i just take things differently, and have a few less books. anyway, i just realized today how much Jeff K. is like Joe and how glad i am that they're my friends, because they're both going to go far and do good things in this world and all three of us, regardless of our differences, have a basic love of God and desire to please Him, even though none of us do it perfectly. they're the kind of people you want to always stay in touch with, the kind that become your contemporaries when you strive to make change, the kind you're proud to know. anyway, Jeff K. wants to run for president some day, and let me tell you, he'll do it. watch out. you need to vote for this man when he does. he's brilliant and innovative but he's caring and morals are so important to him. he's just what America needs.
but anyway, now that i'm done talking about Joe and Jeff K. and how glad i am that they're my friends, i should, and WANT to say how glad i am that i have yall too. God has really made me realized how blessed i am today. i love yall, i really do!! and that's you if you're reading this! i write in this thing like a lot of people i know read it, but i don't think they do, lol. so if you're reading this ... hey ... kudos. ;)
ok, forget Dharma & Greg. i shouldn't be watching it anyway. it's not edifying, lol.
so anyway, got back from Starbucks with Jeff K. and i called Lindsey. she goes to my old church and we've always had a fun time talking, though we never got to much. our parents are friends. anyway, i encouraged her to come to USD with me and it turned out that she really liked it there when she visited. i had a GREAT day with her family when they came down last fall and anyway, she was accepted and is 99% sure she's going there. we decided to meet at Crane Coffee at 6:45 p.m., and we ended up talking till about 10 p.m., when we got kicked out because it was closing, lol! but we talked about life and love and college and family and faith and it was just completely wonderful. we're both really excited that we're eventually going to be going to college together, and plan to hang out a lot and all that jazz. it will be wonderful to have dedicated Christian girl to be friends with and sort of hold each other accountable. she has a few friends that sound fun that are probably going to USD too, so anyway, if this semester isn't better, the next should be! Lindsey is a sweetheart. she's so spunky and motivated and kind.
well, i just realized my Relient K shirt smells like coffee, and it should, because i've been in coffee houses for over four hours today, LOL! i had a diet pop and a cookie at both, which is funny. i'm not much of a coffee person.
so anyway, i have to wake up early tomorrow morning and call about my ticket and figure out what i need to do on that ... probably take it to the post office right away, maybe send it priority or something completely not fun like that ... then hopefully Jeff will be on! and then mand and i plan to get together at 3 p.m. and do something FREE since we're poor college kids. haha. i called Jay while i was waiting for Lindsey in the coffee house (i got there early) and we plan to go for espressos (haha) or something Tuesday before he leaves for his Chicago vacation.
i still want to get together with Mrs. Harvey before i leave ... probably bring Joe some soup or ice cream or something Tuesday since he's getting his wisdom teeth out ... stop by WHS probably on the same day since it's so close and say hi to some teachers and drop off cookies! ... and that will probably mean that i will have gotten together with everyone i purposed to, unless i'm forgetting someone right now! which i could be. that will be good, but it will also mean break is almost up. :-/
well, it's time for some God time. there's one week left to break and i never got on that soul searching like i should ... and should always, continually be doing ... and i also never got on my personal "to do" list.
wow, way to go me. NOT!
ah ... tomorrow's a new day.
"Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company, of all who love the King
I will dance, I will sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud and sing ...
And it's so wonderful -
Just to be here now ..."
~Open Skies, David Crowder Band
peace!
erin :)
Time: 11:10 p.m.
About You
First Name: Erin
Middle Name: Marie
Do you like your name?: Yeah
Nicknames: Errie, E.O.
Age: 18
Birthday: 07/16/1986
Where do you live?: Omaha, NE
Do you like it where you live?: I love Omaha!
Where were you born?: Oklahoma
Height: 5'5"
Do you wish you were a different height?: Nah, it's all good
Favorites
Food: Korean food, cheese hotdogs (lol)
Number: 16
Date: Christmas
Day of the Week: Sunday
Day of the Year: Christmas
Candy: Payday bars
Ice Cream: chocolate chip cookie dough
Place to shop: anywhere with a bargain, lol.
Place to shop for clothes: Gordmans
Song: geeze, about a billion! and it's always changing too. i love country music, especially Rascal Flatts. i also love "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney because it has a great message.
Movie: Luther, Spiderman II, Spiderman I, Save The Last Dance
Band/Group: Rascal Flatts
Sport: to do? swimming. to watch? football
Subject in School: religion, journalism, latin, humanities, linguistics, philosophy
Holiday: Christmas
Color: all of 'em! (i like to say "rainbow" but it always comes off wrong)
Color of clothes to wear: bright red. also blue.
Type of clothes to wear: whatever fits and is a good price.
Shoes: see above
Fruit: strawberries
Veggie: lima beans
Animal: my doggie :)
Magazine: about a billion! Christianity Today, World, Christian History & Biography, Time, Newsweek, Relevant, etc ...
Game: my Spiderman board game!
More About You
Hair color: medium light brown with some natural blonde highlights and some left over highlights from working at a salon this summer (haha) like red and golden
62. Do you or have you ever dyed your hair?: yeah. the first time i had it highlighted purple, but i didn't have it bleached first. the next time i had bleached highlights died blue, LOL! and that was right before Homecoming! that grew out, then i had chunky blonde highlights for graduation, thinner blonde highlights later in the summer, a red toner in august, and now i have some leftover red and blonde highlights. they're thin though.
Hair length: little past my ears. sometimes it's relatively short so i can fluff it or spike it a bit in the back, but now it's getting to be more of a bob
Most embarrassing moment: eeks. ask me.
What time is it?: 12:02 a.m.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: whatever God wants me to be - journalist, Sunday school teacher ... whatever/wherever He leads me
Have you Ever...
Hiked a mountain?: no
Walked a mile?: duh
Ate a whole box of oreos?: nope
Stayed up all night?: yeah
Broken a bone?: nope
Been in love?: loved God? yes. loved my friends and cared for them very deeply? yes. but ever truly been in love in the romantic sense? i don't think so. but is it really all that different than true, committed friendship love - just taken to the next level? i don't know.
Pulled a muscle?: doesn't everyone?
Fractured something?: yeah
Sprained something?: yup
Cried because you've missed someone?: oh yeah.
Been on a boat?: yes
Been on a train?: i think so ...
Ate so much chocolate and/or candy that you puked?: nope
Had a food fight?: nope!
Played spin the bottle?: nope
Been in a hospital?: only the ER a handful of times, amazingly
Had a falling dream?: oh yeah
Been out of the country?: no! :(
Tried smoking or drugs?: nope
Laughed so hard that you peed in your pants?: yes, lol
Fallen asleep in class?: once
This or That
Campfire or fireplace?: never been by a campfire, so i can't say
MMs or Skittles?: depends on the mood
MTV or VH1?: eh
Movies or Music?: music
Stay up late or sleep in?: both!
Sun or Moon?: moon
10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?: 1 best friend
Vanilla or chocolate?: swirl :)
Cat or dog?: dog
Newspaper or Magazine?: both, please!
Is the glass half empty or half full?: depends on the day, lol
McDonalds or Burger King?: no matter
Fish or Mice?: what the heck!? lol
Happy or Sad?: happy, duh!
Serious or funny?: both
Scary movie or Funny movie?: funny ... unless someone is willing to hold my hand through the scary one, lol
Scary movie or sad movie?: sad
Brother or sister?: brother
Bikini or one piece?: 1
Snow or rain?: thudnerstorms! lol
Plane or car?: plane
Rainy or Sunny?: rainy!
Other Random Stuff
How many siblings do you have?: technically 1, lol
Do you like your siblings?: yes
Do you have any pets?: yup
Do you like your pets?: no, i love my dog! :)
What's the last thing you ate?: rice and soup
Have you ever went on a diet?: yeah
Do you believe in God?: more than anything
What do you think about Diet Coke?: i'm addicted
How are you feeling today?: grateful
When was the last time that you've...
Cried?: hmmm ... it's been a few weeks probably, lol ... can't remember. probably a good thing.
Laughed?: like, two hours ago
Danced?: today. i spin around on the kitchen tile in my socks. lol.
Watched TV?: hour ago
Hugged someone?: today
Stayed up past midnight?: now, lol
Jumped on a bed?: jumped on my mom's about an hour and a half ago, LOL
Been happy?: now
Been sad?: couple days ago
Drank bottled water?: today
Been to the beach?: over 6 years
Hung out with some friends?: yesterday, now i guess since it's 13 mins past midnight
Took a shower?: yesterday since it's 13 mins past midnight
Took a bath?: i take showers
Went for a walk?: hmm, finals week
Went for a bike ride?: this summer
Eaten Birthday cake?: december
In your opinion
Do fish have feelings too?: LOL
How many chocolate chips should a cookie have?: as many as possible
Is bottled water really better than tap water?: yes
What pizza place has the best pizza?: all of them, lol
More About You
What kind of shoes do you wear the most?: boots and tennies
What kind of clothes do you wear the most?: jeans, hoodies, fancy shirts
What color are your nails painted right now?: n/a
What are you listening to?: The Way You Move - Outkast
Do you like ironing your clothes?: no but i have a compulsion. lol.
Do you like to read?: yeah!
Do you like school?: sometimes
What grade are you in?: sophomore by credit in college
What's the best part of the school day?: lol
Okay, what's the time now?: 12:!7 a.m.
Erin, Sarah and Captain Cupcake with some heavier stuff @ the bottom
Erin and Sarah outside of Gordmans after shopping at Gordmans, looking for Esenam at Bakers and shopping at the Dollar Tree, a total of two hours and 10 minutes after we started.
Sarah being self-conscious outside of Gordmans (LOL).
Sarah took a pic of me outside of Gordmans facing the other direction. It's important for the viewer to realize that we primped for these pictures, and did so outside of Gordmans, in the cold, hours after a Winter Weather Advisory, while being stared at. I hate coats so I didn't wear one.
Sarah trying to imitate herself imitating something. Hm. I don't remember.
so today i was talking online to Sarah, my former AWANA girl and good friend (gosh, they grow up fast! i miss my girls!). i told her i was going to Gordmans to spend the $5 giftcard my mom got me, and we eventually decided to go together. we met at 3 p.m. outside of Gordmans. we found a scarry $1 Scooby Doo toy in the Gordmans toy clearence isle, but didn't buy it, lol. we looked at clothes and toys and underware and purses and socks and stationary and hair stuff and jewlrey and perfume. sarah bought a hello kitty lip balm thingy and this eye shadow cream. i bought the eye shadow cream, a my little pony lip balm thingy and "Cake Batter" lotion (it smells like Play Dough). then we looked for Esenam in Baker's shrimp shop. we didn't find him, but we went to the dollar store. don't buy dollar store underware, right Sarah? haha. anyway, i got this set of over 365 HILARIOUS stickers that say things like "Let's play hangman, you're the man!" and "Your mom says hi!" they're offbeat but hilarious and hey, for a $1 for the whole box, who could resist? i also got a blue stationary set and Strawberry Shortcake crayons. Sarah bought a Watchamacallit bar or whatever. :P then we took pics while we waited for Sarah's mom to pick her up!
what can i say, it was fun. :) much love, Sarah! er, Captain Cupcake. haha.
just sittin' here listenin to Where You Are by Rascal Flatts. wish i had the Melt CD. someday maybe. anyway this song is great.
i've really blogged my lil fingers off these past few days.
so today i got up, talked to Jeff, did some chores and got dressed, went shopping with Sarah, and got to talk to Jeff again! which was great. pretty soon here i'll probably get off for the night and color some (haha), spend some time with God, ya know, and maybe watch some SNL. gosh, sometimes i feel so guilty about watching SNL. it's not always the best show to watch ... i should pray about it. tomorrow, crossing my fingers, i'll get up in time for 8 am church. yikes. if not i'll just have to hit the 11, even though it's traditional and i'd rather not. man. i'm gonna have to get up early. but it should be good. it will be good.
ever feared a future regret? odd, huh? maybe not.
i'm so in the mood to write letters ... so if anyone wants a letter (or a Spiderman pic, lol!) drop me an email! i love writing ... articles, books, stories, novels, letters, emails, blogs ... haha. anyway, you know the drill. erinoliver @ erinoliver.com or spidermangirly @ hotmail.com or erin_oliver2004 @ hotmail.com or eoliver @ usd.edu. LOL.
you don't look a day over fast cars and freedom. ;)
let's end with, quite possibly, the best lyrics on the Rascal Flatt Feels Like Today CD ...
but you were wrong ...
love is what i wanted all along ...
alright, but you still don't look a day over fast cars and freedom.
i always hate stacking shallow blogs on top of ones that took more thought, because i feel like the bottom ones never get read. haha. oh well.
on a more shallow note, this entry will put the infamous "Green Underware Day" entry into the oblivion of the 2004 archive. RIP, green underware. i'll wear you again soon.
yeah, i'm a copycat - sorry jeff! there are two albums. the first has pics from the 2004 JcPenny Omaha Prom Fashion Show. what's that you say? Erin? in a fashion show? JcPennys must have been deperate!
DING DING DING! right-o!
yes, it was an interesting experience. a ton of fun to pick out dresses, makeup, jewlrey ... to run off the runway, through the store, into the back and try desperately to sling on fish nets without ripping them on your toe rings, lol ... any how it was fun, but i confirmed the obvious: i am NOT a model. from what i hear i looked mortified and embarassed beyond belief the whole time, and that's just about what i felt - especially when they made us blow kisses and take pictures. most of the fellow models and escorts were friends though, which made it good times ... and, seriously, like half of the church, including the college guys and the pastor, showed up. akward! lol. the pastor was at the end of the runway saying "WORK IT!" and snorting and i just about died. his son was up there though. um, yes. so these are some laughable, potential black-mail pictures - but i know where yall live (i think) ... haha ...
the second set is pictures i've taken, but most in the album are from high school and i can't post my best ones because of the copyrights that various mags and newspapers hold. so yeah, just for kicks.
well it's almost 1 pm, so i really should shower and get ready for the day, lol. i might meet my (oh so fetch) 6th grade friend Sarah at Gordmans (represent!!) haha ... so we'll see. i have a $5 gift card that's burning a hole in my pocket.
